


Through Blood and Pain (I am Still the Same)

by orphan_account



Category: Dr. STONE (Anime)
Genre: AU, AU-Carriers, Blood, Carrier Senkuu, Delusions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fever, He is straight up NOT having a good time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OOC Senkuu, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Mpreg, Senkuu whump, Severe Illness, Sickfic, The insane backstory of one Ishigami Senkuu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22300903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Okay, I need you to- hey! Stay with me, Senkuu-chan!”Senkuu falls ill in the middle of winter. And, of course, he can't do anything half-assed.He fights just to breathe, his friends fight to keep him alive, and in the chaos some secrets come to light- for better or for worse.
Relationships: Asagiri Gen/Ishigami Senkuu
Comments: 124
Kudos: 386





	1. Something's really really wrong

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all! Thanks for giving my story a shot!
> 
> I'll keep this short:  
> -haven't read the manga  
> -have seen the anime  
> -LOVE me some lettuce boi  
> -this idea wouldn't leave me alone.
> 
> Sorry for any inaccuracies! Please enjoy!

Her hands were starting to ache, but Suika urged herself to keep going. She’d been at this for four hours today, what was another two or three? 

Anything to make herself useful!

Beside her, Shovel was chattering on and on with Azura about a _huge_ rabbit she saw the other day, and maybe there were more hiding nearby? Suika was sure she’d heard this story at least four times already, but it seemed the other kids couldn’t last nearly as long as she could unless they distracted themselves with conversation. She wasn’t going to complain; their gold wire task was so close to being done because of how fast everyone was now able to work- even the old folks were keeping up with the best of them.

None of them would be nearly as efficient if they weren’t as warm and comfortable as they were now.

_Senkuu is the BEST,_ she thought happily to herself, not for the first time. _This is the warmest winter ever! I don’t even have to wear my fur cloak in here!_

As if summoned by her thoughts, Senkuu appeared outside the hut. She perked up, waving at him enthusiastically.

“Hi, Senkuu!”

She’d sought him out earlier, asking if he could stop by when he had the time. It was always nice when he could come and visit with them, check their work and give advice.

It was also great because it wasn’t hard at all to convince him to stick around for a little longer and hang out. She loved helping him out however she could, but it was a bummer when that meant she went long periods of time without seeing him. She liked being around him a lot!

Suika’s excitement dampened a bit when she really looked at him, though. He was too far away, noticeably distancing himself from the entrance of the heated hut. Usually he came in, checked their gold wire over, spoke for a bit. Sometimes he would plop down beside her and make sure each of the children got an encouraging pat on the back, then talk with them as though they were all super close friends just hanging out. Sometimes he would sub in for someone who was taking a break. Sometimes Alumi could even convince him to eat some stew. They all knew time was of the essence, and spring was just around the corner, but Senkuu could almost always work time into his day for these little meetings.

This time was different. He wasn’t even leaning against the doorway, which he sometimes did if he was in a hurry and needed to make it clear that he couldn’t stay for long. She had to lean over to see him entirely past the wall of the hut.

_Has he always been so pale?_

“Hey, guys,” Senkuu said, but he was too quiet and too far away. The frigid wind nearly stole the words away. “How’s it going in here?”

“Good!” The other children chirped in unison. Suika was too distracted to join in.

_Why won’t he come closer?_ she worried. _Is something wrong?_

“I have a question!” she blurted.

Apparently realizing he was at an inconvenient distance, Senkuu inched closer and cocked his head. He was barely at the door.

“’sup?”

Better able to hear his voice, she noted how weak it was. He wasn’t whispering. His voice was just… faded. There was a nasal, raw quality to it.

_He must be getting sick!_

She floundered, realizing she didn’t actually have a question to ask him. Thinking quickly, she said, “Uh… I think I, uh, messed up part of my wire… could you come look at it?”

Senkuu blinked a bit too slowly, took a bit too long to respond.

“Sorry?”

Stomach twisting, Suika repeated, “Could you come look at my wire?”

There was no way he couldn’t hear her- she’d been extra loud that time.

He dazedly glanced around him, eyelids heavy. He didn’t reply. She got the impression he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on.

She shared a confused look with the other kids, then caught how old Alumi and Natri were watching the teen with concern.

Suika was on her feet before she could think twice, rushing outside. She was immediately buffeted by the brutal winter wind and shrank into her meager dress for warmth.

“Senkuu, are you okay?”

Senkuu seemed startled by her sudden approach and came back to his senses, backing away from her with his arms extended, warding her off. “Hey now, I need you to stay back, kiddo,” he admonished gently. In their months of knowing each other, she had never known him to lose his cool with kids. Even now, when she deliberately ignored his wishes and kept pressing forward, he refused to, walking backwards at an equal speed while his voice stayed even, if not more insistent. “Suika, I’m getting sick, okay? I don’t want you catching whatever this is.” As if for emphasis, he coughed gruffly into his elbow.

Getting her answer, she finally stopped her forward march- just in time to keep him from bumping into Kaseki as he passed by behind him.

“Are you gonna be okay?” Suika asked desperately, clasping her hands together for comfort. It was taking all of her self control not to leap forward and hug him.

His familiar smirk pulled his lips back, baring his sharp teeth. She wondered if strangers were scared of that look. Seeing it, she was filled with relief.

“‘Course I will. Takes more than a little virus to take _me_... out of...”

His expression fell slack without warning and he stared intensely into the distance. He grew impossibly paler, despite his cold-reddened cheeks. He started to shake.

Her relief withered in her gut.

_Something’s really really wrong._

“S-Senkuu…?”

“Mm?” he replied distantly. He shifted unsteadily on his feet, swaying like he was about to fall over.

“M-maybe you should go lie down? You don’t look so good...”

He shook his head suddenly, startling her, finally making eye contact again. The smirk returned, but without its usual muster. “Nah, I’ll be fine. Too much to do.”

She was used to the other adults lying to her because they thought she couldn’t understand or handle the truth. It hurt to hear it so blatantly from her hero.

Still, what could _she,_ a kid, do? Even if he had been totally honest with her, it’s not like it would do anyone any good.

For the first time in weeks, she had absolutely no idea of how to help. She couldn’t even get near him! He would never forgive her if she got herself sick by not listening.

Suika watched helplessly as he gave her a short wave and walked shakily away.

Then it hit her.

_Well, I guess there’s always one thing I can do to be useful… find an adult!_

Not wasting any time, she took off in search of someone who _could_ help Senkuu.

_“Geeeeenn!”_


	2. Stay with me, Senkuu-chan!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for the support! I'm glad you're enjoying my work so far! :) My goal is that you have a great reading experience, so don't hesitate to drop constructive criticism or praise for any specific aspects that stand out to you!
> 
> I hope you like this installment!

Gen would never claim to be as good with numbers as Senkuu, but as he set down _yet another_ handmade battery, he knew with certainty that this was Number 437. Whether it was the terribly repetitive task itself drilling into his mind the precise number, or perhaps his catchy mental tune keeping track, his brain was practically fried. All he could seem to do was count.

Ruri and Ginrou made for interesting conversationalists, as did Kinrou when he occasionally chipped in, but it hardly served to distract.

As he was setting down a completed Number 438, Gen was broken from the constant monotony by a young voice shouting his name.

_“Geeeeeeeeennnnn!”_

Inwardly worried by the panicked tone, the mentalist turned to Suika with a smile as she came careening into the hut, a blur of green and blue and a flash of glass lenses.

“What’s going on, my dear?”

The others weren’t quite so composed. Kinrou jumped to his feet while the other two simply _jumped._

“Suika! What’s wrong? Where’s your coat?”

“Are we under attack?”

“What’s happening?!”

The poor thing truly looked terrified.

“It’s Senkuu!” she cried.

Ignoring the way his chest seemed to tighten at that- _I am totally not liking where this is going-_ Gen put a hand on her small shoulder comfortingly.

“What happened, Suika-chan?”

Between harsh pants, the girl explained: “He- he stopped by- by our hut, and wouldn’t come near us ‘cuz he’s _sick!”_

_Oh, other-bray. Just what we need- a grumpy, sneezy mad scientist._

In his periphery, Gen saw Ruri cover her mouth with her hand, eyes wide. It also hadn’t escaped his notice how drawn the brothers’ faces had gotten. He was sure in this primitive village, with Ruri’s years of being unwell still fresh in their minds, sickness had a much harsher connotation than the common cold Gen was sure Senkuu had gotten stuck with.

He chuckled, hoping to dispel the thick concern in the air. _Senkuu-chan would kill me if I let them become unproductive out of worry for him._ “I’m sure he’s fine, Suika-chan. He’s known as the weakest person here for a reason- I’ll bet a harmless little cold managed to get the drop on him and he just needs some time to get over it.”

Suika shook her head emphatically, batting his hand from her shoulder. “No, you don’t understand!” she exclaimed frustratedly. “He’s _really really_ sick! He kept forgetting I was there, even when I was talking to him! He almost fell over! I- I said he should rest but he won’t listen to me! He went back to work, and I don’t know if Chrome and the others are too busy to notice something’s wrong...”

Well, that… was slightly more concerning. He’d seen Senkuu that morning and he’d been acting like his normal self, so where had all of _that_ come from?

He nodded thoughtfully. “I can see why you were so scared, dear. Don’t worry, I’ll go check on him.” He got to his feet, wincing at the rush of feeling returning to his legs, and patted the child’s melon-covered head. “You can go back to your group, I have this under control.”

The girl grabbed his hand tightly, staring up into his eyes through her thick glasses. Her lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Is he going to be okay?”

Gen paused, considering her. Suika was so eager to please, so eager to be taken seriously. She didn’t want to be lied to, even to spare her feelings. She was reaching an age where honest respect meant more to her than being placated.

He quirked his lips a little- not cheerfully, but not grim either. “I have a feeling he will be. But I’ll know more when I see him for myself,” he said honestly.

She studied him for a moment before nodding resolutely and running back to rejoin her crafting group.

Sighing to himself, Gen turned to his Manganese Battery Buddies. “Terribly orry-say, everyone, but you’ll have to make do without my fabulous presence for a bit.”

Ruri shook her head, waving his words off. “No, please. Make sure he’s okay,” she entreated, drawing her coat around herself tensely. Kinrou and Ginrou nodded in agreement.

“We’ll pick up our pace to cover you,” Kinrou promised.

“Yeah, go take care of the Chief!” Ginrou exclaimed.

With their blessing, he turned and made his way across camp. He had a pretty good idea where Senkuu would be.  
\--

Gen knew his guess had been right as soon as he started climbing the ladder to Chrome’s hut. Loud, clumsy sounds were spilling out of the open door above him.

_Thump. Thud._ “Dammit! Where-?” _Thwack!_

He was just about to crest the circular doorway when the angry voice dissolved into a coughing fit.

_Oh, dear._

“Senkuu-chaaan!” Gen peeked into the hut. “What’re you up to?”

The coughing continued for several seconds before Senkuu rasped, “What do you _want?_ I told you I’m _busy!”_

Gen climbed the rest of the way in, crossing the room to be by his friend’s side. Senkuu was kneeling haphazardly against a large clay pot containing chunks of coal, face covered by his hand. His thin shoulders rose and fell with each harsh, watery breath.

_Oh **dear.**_

“How are you feeling, Senkuu-chan?” he asked, leaning over him cautiously.

Senkuu picked up a piece of coal with his free, black-stained hand, throwing it over his shoulder as he coughed again. “What an inane question. And you need to back up.”

Obligingly, Gen took a few steps back. _“Someone_ has to ask.”

“Yeah, well, to say I’m fine would be a lie. _Obviously._ Where’s my mask?”

“Your… gas mask?”

Senkuu lowered his hand from his face, revealing a look of immense displeasure. “No, not my gas mask. The other one.” He coughed. “The- the-” in a rare moment, the teen genius seemed lost for words, tapping his temple erratically. “You know- they wear them in doctor’s offices? What’s it called-”

“Surgical mask?”

He snapped his fingers. “That! Where is it?”

Gen cocked his head in confusion. Did he mean that cloth he tied around his face when he was working with dangerous chemicals? “I don’t know where you keep that.”

_“Damn it,_ Gen!” Senkuu shouted, startling the mentalist badly. “I _just had it!_ I- I-” he broke down into coughs again, and when the episode passed he looked around the room with half-lidded, dull eyes. “Where…? I _know_ I… was looking for… _fuck!_ What was I…?”

The alarm climbing up Gen’s spine proceeded to wrap itself around his throat, making it difficult to speak. He was no medical expert, but he knew this wasn’t good. Mood swings, volatility, confusion…

Creeping closer, he laid the back of his hand against Senkuu’s brow, the lightning-shaped cracks scratching lightly at his skin.

“You’re burning up, Senkuu-chan.”

Senkuu pushed his hand away.

“I _know_ that! That’s why I’m looking for that stupid mask. I need to get back to work.”

“No.”

A growl left the other man’s throat and Senkuu was suddenly on his feet. “I know where it is.”

Gen didn’t point out how badly his legs were shaking.

All he could do was follow the scientist as he made his way down the ladder. Surprisingly enough, he made it down in one piece.

Going up to the observatory was a different matter.

“You’re supposed to _climb_ ladders, you know,” he pointed out. “Or maybe even do a choreographed dance on them. Not sleep.”

Senkuu, elbow hooked around a higher rung and head resting against the cool support pole, continued to pant and offered no reply. Just as Gen was about to prod him along, he finally was able to gather his bearings and haul himself up the rest of the way with a pained grunt.

_Thank god; that was getting awkward,_ Gen thought in relief. The motive and opportunity to look up Senkuu’s skirt had both been there, but, self-absorbed though he may be, Gen did have _some_ standards, and doing so when his beautiful, idiotic friend was about to fall to the hard ground and cough his brains out seemed in bad taste.

He watched as Senkuu stumbled to the far wall, turning to examine the room as a whole. The only object in here was the telescope, which his bleary gaze passed over without notice.

“‘S in here…” he mumbled to himself. His breath fogged in front of him, but if he noticed the chill in the air, he didn’t show it. The furnace in the corner hadn’t been put to use yet, and the roof was left open from the night before when Senkuu had been showing Suika and her friends some stars through the telescope.

Gen sighed to himself, tucking his hands into his sleeves. “Honestly, Senkie… You need to get back to Chrome’s hut and rest. You’ll only make yourself worse, and then you’ll be of no use to _anyone.”_

“No use…” Senkuu hummed, then turned his head in an unnatural, wobbly way to fix him with a blank stare. “Why’re we here?”

Gen’s fists clenched.

“Don’t you remember, Senkuu-chan? You came here looking for something.”

“Looking for… someone…?” His gaze drifted away from Gen as his brows furrowed. “Who?”

Before Gen could correct him and suggest again that they go back, Senkuu’s expression transformed into one of alarm. One hand clutched his stomach and then reached for the wall to steady himself. “Where…? Where is…?”

His gravelly breaths picked up and large ruby eyes were suddenly on Gen once more. The mentalist found himself faltering at the desperation he found in those eyes. The very real fear.

Senkuu made a keening noise. _“Where is she?”_

Holding his hands up placatingly, Gen began moving towards his distressed friend. He had a few options for how to handle this, but he had no idea how any of them would go over- Senkuu was too unpredictable, too volatile, like this. His logical nature seemed to be completely overridden by this feverish haze of delirium.

“I don’t know where she is. Can you tell me who you’re looking for?” he coaxed, nearly within arm’s reach.

_**“Where is she?”**_

It was nearly a scream. Gen flinched at the loud, ragged sound; Senkuu’s poor throat couldn’t handle the abuse, and with pained tears in his eyes he dissolved once more into coughs. This gave Gen the opportunity to cross the rest of the distance between them, putting his hands on his friend’s shoulders to steady him.

“It’s alright, Senkuu-chan. You’re very sick. We’ll make you better,” he soothed.

Senkuu swayed dangerously, quickly going into crisis- the panic he felt, unable to breathe, was palpable as he gasped frantically between coughs, fear all over his face. His fist clenched desperately in the fabric of Gen’s coat.

Gen strengthened his grip on Senkuu, pulling him to his chest. Using this improved leverage, he slowly lowered them both to the floor.

The fit lasted much longer than all the rest, agonizing to witness especially as Senkuu quickly lost his strength, sagging against him more and more. His throat must have been on fire; his lungs, by the sound of it, were congested and inflamed. Specks of blood and sputum splattered against the bandages of Senkuu’s forearm, held up to feebly cover his mouth.

Through it all Gen held him close, rubbing his back, not knowing what else he _could_ do.

Being this powerless was terrifying.

Senkuu was leaning against him fully by the time the coughs began to fade, his ridiculous hair tickling Gen’s face. The choking sounds he made as he strained just to _breathe_ were pulling at Gen’s heart painfully; each whooping breath didn’t seem to be taking in nearly enough oxygen.

“There there, Senkuu-chan… it’s over now, you’re alright…”

He couldn’t find it in him to tease, to make things feel more normal between them. He doubted Senkuu had the current capacity to comprehend any such efforts anyway.

When he could finally raise his head without passing out, the scientist met Gen’s eyes. Senkuu’s face was very pale aside from his fiery cheeks, but even they were losing color by the second. Red eyes shone fever-bright, not quite focused. Sweat was building at his temples, and tears were caught like dewdrops in his thick eyelashes.

Either he didn’t notice how intimately close he was, firmly cradled in Gen’s embrace, or he was too weak to care. Gen said nothing, adjusting his hold just a bit in the hopes of helping him breathe better.

Between raspy breaths, Senkuu whispered, “... menta...list...”

He looked so very sad.

“I can’t... find her… C’n you find her?”

So very lost.

Gen smiled as reassuringly as he was able. “I’ll help you look for her, Senkuu-chan. We’ll find her together. But for now I need you to focus on staying with me, okay?” He spoke as though to a small child.

“... miss her…” Senkuu said quietly, words carried by his soft exhale. His eyelids started to flutter.

Gen wasn’t sure what to say to that. Instead he tried to think of a strategy. He’d been hoping one of the villagers would hear the commotion and come to his aid, but it appeared they were either too far away or too ensconced in their projects to take notice. He needed to get help. Was it safe to leave Senkuu alone and run for it?

“Okay, I need you to- _hey!_ Stay with me, Senkuu-chan!”

Unaffected by Gen’s frantic words, Senkuu’s eyes drifted closed and he grew heavier in his arms. His entire body was trembling violently.

“Senkuu-chan?”

Damn it all! He had no idea if this was a bad sign or not! He had next to no medical expertise since he'd lived alone for years and rarely got sick. The most he knew was that a fever needed to be kept down, as well as what medications to take for headaches or congestion. 

This had to be normal, though, right? Sick people needed sleep, right?

But if this was the result of suffocation…

Face pulled into a nervous grimace, Gen tried sitting his friend up, holding his shoulders upright. Senkuu’s head lolled forward with the movement, and no amount of cautious shaking could rouse him. His struggling gasps, however, seemed to worsen.

To Gen’s horror, a small stream of blood began to drip from Senkuu’s lips.

Out of options, more than a little out of his depth, and scared out of his mind for this person he inexplicably held dear, he turned his head towards the open sky above and screamed.

_“HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!”_


	3. Any help you can give me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm way too trigger happy with these chapters- I'm running out of prewritten ones! Soon enough I'll have to really get my ass back into gear. This story is totally worth the work, though! I LOVE how responsive you guys have been, it's so heartening! A writer's worst enemy is self-doubt, so having tangible support means the world to me and encourages me to keep it going. 
> 
> I rewrote this chapter in particular several times, so I'm hoping it works. Please let me know! I'm considering making more changes to the future chapters based on what I did to this one.
> 
> Finally, Senkuu's POV! I am nowhere near a genius and do not have a mind for science, but I tried to channel his character and thoughts as best as I am capable of. Just bear that in mind going forward!
> 
> THANK YOU again!

All of his consciousness was enveloped by the overwhelming _heat._ The flames radiated from his very core, lapping at his face and back and chest and making him shudder in discomfort. Groaning, he rolled onto his side. Something wet fell from its place on his forehead. Immediately uncomfortable, he rolled onto his back. Kicked at his blankets, which must have been piled too high and overheated him.

He was immediately buffeted with cold air, and suddenly that inner heat was nowhere to be found. In its place was an empty coldness, which eagerly teamed up with the frigid air around him and had him shivering in seconds.

He whined in frustration, which instantly set his throat on fire. He coughed, only something in his lungs caught and he couldn’t stop the coughs from continuing. It got worse and worse the longer it went, spit traveling down his chin and phlegm flying from his mouth. He couldn’t seem to catch a breath in between.

“Help me out,” a painfully loud voice said right by his ear. He shrank away from it, then from the hands that were worming their way underneath him and pushing him to sit up. Their skin was freezing! If coldness left bruises, there would be dark handprints all over his back and chest.

Tears streamed down his face, bubbling up from the corners of his eyes and pooling uncomfortably under his chin. He wasn't sure which contributed more to them- the pain in his throat or the awful feeling of his ribs straining with each violent cough.

“It’s okay, Senkuu! We’ve gotcha!”

A second person shushed the other, which Senkuu appreciated greatly.

When he was finally done hacking up a lung, he was a panting mess. He’d broken into a sweat and his entire body felt gross.

“Everything’s okay now, Senkuu-chan.” It was that second person again, voice quiet and calm and coming from right behind him. Slender hands rubbed his upper back soothingly.

He finally managed to crack his eyes open, relieved to find a darkened room with no bright lights to speak of.

“W-where…?”

“You’re in the observatory. You passed out,” the first voice supplied.

That didn’t make sense… he didn’t know why, but it didn’t. And who were these people?

His eyes adjusted to the low lighting, but he still kept them cracked; his arms were too shaky and weak to wipe the lingering tears away. The person to his right leaned into his field of vision and he relaxed immediately upon seeing the spiky dark hair.

“H-hey, Big Oaf,” he rasped, befuddled when use made his slightly swollen tongue spark with pain. “They let you in here?”

Taiju looked confused, sharing a glance with the person behind him. “Uh… can’t you recognize me, Senkuu?”

“‘Course I… can…”

His head started spinning and he wasn’t sure why.

A cough exploded out of him. His chest was starting to ache again.

“Go back to sleep, Senkuu-chan,” the mystery person murmured lowly in his ear. It was oddly soothing, and he found himself sagging into their grip, all too willing to obey. He closed his eyes and tried to keep his traitorous lungs under wraps, even though they hitched like they were wanting to start another fit.

He barely registered the fact that he was being carefully leaned back to rest against someone’s chest. His forehead fit perfectly under their chin, and he found it easier to breathe reclining at this angle. He could feel his hair splaying in all directions against them and distantly wondered if they were annoyed by it.

In the back of his head, a fleeting thought- he hoped he didn’t get this person sick too.

“Being propped up like this should help him breathe better,” the person whispered.

“Good idea,” Taiju replied, except that his voice didn’t sound right for that name and, now that he thought about it, the face hadn’t looked quite right either. _Why didn’t I notice that before, I was looking right at him-_

“I can hear Kohaku-chan talking down there- go tell her to keep all villagers away. I don’t know what this is but nobody from the main settlement should be exposed to it just in case.”

“Got it.”

There was the sound of clunking shoes as Not-Taiju made his exit. Left alone with the mysterious person he was now using as a pillow, Senkuu tried to will his heavy eyelids open again, but found himself with no strength left. Breathing in and of itself was taking a lot more effort than it should have.

The cool hands repositioned themselves to hold him around the waist. The person sighed. “Oh, my dear Senkuu-chan…”

Gen.

“What am I going to do with you? Everyone is going to be so worried for you, and I can’t say they’ll be wrong… what a mess you’ve created, hm?”

Senkuu couldn’t even begin to try and reply.

His lungs hitched again. His raspy breaths got deeper but he managed to stave off the impulse to cough.

Gen’s throat vibrated against the back of his head. “You’ll be alright. You have to be. _Someone_ has to supply my cola.”

Despite his constant misery, Senkuu’s lips pulled into a weak smile. “Heh.”

One hand rubbed gently at his side. “...Listen, Senkuu-chan,” Gen said suddenly, tone serious. “I know you’re disoriented and you might not be able to get a full grasp on things right now, but I need any help you can give me. What can we do to get you better?”

A direct address. He had to respond, whether it hurt or not.

Head spinning, he forced himself to do body inventory.

What symptoms could he list, just from the small amount of memory data he had? He went through each ache and pain, each discomfort he could find. It was hard to stay concentrated when the list was so long, when _every part of him_ was aching, but as his thoughts started to drift away he pulled them back with the revelation that he _knew_ this ache. Sickness wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for him, and he’d felt this particular pain several times before.

Gen had started listing off ideas while Senkuu was ruminating.

“Should Chrome-chan start on another batch of the sulfa drug? He’s worried he doesn’t remember all of the steps correctly, but is willing to give it a try. If he comes back soon do you think you could give him abridged instructions?”

It took a surprising amount of effort to prepare himself to speak. His mouth was so dry, his entire respiratory system was burning angrily, and whenever he thought he had the right words, they slipped away into the darkness of his hazy brain before he could voice them.

Finally, haltingly, he got his message across.

“Flu... Viral. Won’t help.”

Gen listened patiently and replied succinctly. “Are there any medications he can make that _will_ help?”

Several results popped up immediately in Senkuu’s mind, but as he analyzed them he realized none of them were relevant to the question.

_Wait, what did he ask?_

“Again?”

“Any medications that will work?”

_Focus focus FOCUS! THINK!_

_… too many words…_

Gen calmly repeated the question when Senkuu motioned for him to do so, simplifying yet again: “Meds?”

It was distressing how difficult thinking was. Senkuu, as hard as he tried, _could not_ focus on what was being said. _Could not_ find the solution to the incomprehensible problem, no matter where in his head he searched.

_I know the answer. I know it’s child’s play._

_… what did he ask?_

Ultimately he had to give up. Each pang of distress was making his head pound harder and harder and now there was an unbearable, distracting pain building behind his eyes.

With great shame he murmured, “Dunno…”

Gen sighed, but his words were far from frustrated. Senkuu wondered if it was an act or if his patience truly was saintly. “That’s okay; don’t push yourself, Senkuu-chan. It’s not your fault. You said it’s the flu- can the flu really get _this_ bad?”

Slowly getting chilled by the cold air, Senkuu reflexively curled his legs closer, back pressing harder against Gen in the hopes of absorbing more heat.

“S’metimes,” he croaked. It wasn’t often, but he had quite the track record, and a few severe illnesses littered it. When he got extremely unlucky. When he was an idiot and didn’t protect his face from the coughs of his sick classmates. When he was an even bigger idiot and overworked himself into an impressive fever before even realizing he’d come down with something- usually his hyperfocus on his projects was the culprit. He was practical, but when the exhilaration of a new discovery gripped him, all bets were off.

“What can we do to help you?”

Thankfully that was a no-brainer; on top of it being generic, practically all-inclusive practice, he’d also explained this to Taiju and Yuzuriha several times in the past, and calling upon his lectures of old was far easier than putting one together on the spot.

“Keep fever down,” he began, coughing and curling up closer all the same. “Keep hydrated. Wear masks. Wash hands.”

Gen’s cold, cold hand came up to touch his neck, likely to confirm the degree of heat he was feeling against the underside of his chin, radiating from Senkuu’s forehead. Senkuu hoped he hadn’t already infected Gen by coughing up at him; his brain was too sluggish to force his weak body into action in time, and by the time it dawned on him to turn his head, the potential damage was already done.

“Wear masks,” he repeated, trying to put emphasis in his voice but failing.

“Of course,” Gen assured smoothly. He didn’t make any move to distance himself, though. A chuckle escaped him, vibrating against Senkuu’s back in an oddly soothing way. “How pathetic are we? All it takes is one little illness to take you out of commission and the rest of us run around like chickens without heads. You should’ve seen how freaked out Chrome-chan was.”

“My fault… didn’t teach…” his voice gave out before he could complete the sentence, and by the time Gen was offering his retort, Senkuu’s mind was already wandering far away from what was going on around him. He vaguely registered the word “not”, but all it brought to mind was an image of the knot on Chrome’s headband.

His thoughts continued to wander closer and closer to the nonsensical drifting of dreams, his muscles slowly loosening. His jaw fell slack so he could continue to breathe through his mouth, but it was only mildly easier than trying to breathe through his blocked nose. He coughed again and it irritated his raw throat enough to bring him back to the world of semi-wakefulness with a frustrated huff.

The arms around him gently tightened and there was a shifting sound. Gen's legs unfolded and moved to encircle his, and then Senkuu was slowly pulled upright until he was almost perpendicular to the ground, more fully pressed against Gen’s torso, his head lolling as contact was lost. His eyes came open in confusion.

Gen’s chin then settled on his shoulder and he immediately leaned his head to rest against the mentalist's, eyes fluttering closed again.

Another chuckle, laced with fondness.

“Go to sleep, Senkuu-chan. I’ll make sure you can breathe.”

The lilting way he spoke, barely above a whisper right next to his ear, made it hard to fight the exhaustion pulling at Senkuu’s consciousness; he had the perfect tone, calming and steady and warm. The room’s cold atmosphere now had him shivering, but then Gen pulled a blanket up over his bare legs and his body heat helped warm the rest of him.

His companion was also much softer than the hard ground had been, and being more elevated had already made such an improvement for his abused lungs.

It was… _nice._

Gen continued to murmur to him, quiet stories and simplified explanations of some of his favorite sleight-of-hand tricks, seeming to sense that his voice was slowly lulling the scientist to sleep.

Within minutes, Senkuu was unconscious.


	4. I'm right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS. I rewrote this so. many. times. I hope I got our beloved Chrome right!  
> If you spot any errors/inconsistencies/bad spots, let me know and I'll fix them to the best of my ability! I do as much research as I can to make sure I get things right, but there are some things I'll never fully grasp or be able to find.  
> Also...  
> ... I need sleep.

Chrome hadn’t meant to be away for so long, but the moment he’d descended the ladder he’d been surrounded by concerned villagers, all asking after their chief. Most of them accepted his explanation, but Kohaku wanted to see Senkuu in person anyway, even after he explained how risky that would be. She slept in the same room as her sister, so if she were to carry any of the illness home with her, it could be disastrous on Ruri’s poor recovering body.

“Then I’ll stay away from Ruri-nee,” she retorted. “I’ll sleep up there with you guys.”

“What about everyone else in the village? They’re at risk too. Or are you gonna stay cooped up in there for days on end?"

Kohaku crossed her arms challengingly. “Are _you_ going to?”

“No,” Chrome said, “because _I_ can work in the lab, which is already away from everyone else. _And_ I sleep far from the village.”

Ruri, just then coming upon the situation, grabbed her younger sister by the elbow imploringly. “He’s right, Kohaku, we all need to stay away. The fewer people exposed to it, the better- we can’t afford for it to spread to everyone else!”

Chrome offered the priestess a grateful smile.

 _“Fine,”_ Kohaku finally relented, face pulled into a harsh frown. “But if you need him carried anywhere you leave it to _me,_ contagious or not. I don’t trust your scrawny arms.”

Seeing the worry in her eyes, he smirked. “Of course I’d ask the _gorilla_ for help lifting things!”

She growled, swiftly adding another bump to the back of his head. He was sporting quite the collection.

Ruri pulled her sister away, and with that they made their way back to the village for the night. He overheard some of their whispered conversation.

“I hope he gets better…”

“He _has_ to.”

His fist clenched.

__

Now that the crowd had dispersed, he could get back to work.

__

\--

__

He had to make several trips. It was difficult lugging so many supplies up the ladder without dropping anything or falling to his early death, but he managed somehow, and when he finally got back inside for the final time, he dropped the blankets, face mask, pillows, and sleeping bags with a sigh of relief, taking a moment to catch his breath. For the past two hours or so he and Gen had been making do with the first things Chrome had been able to snatch up and sprint with, meaning Senkuu was relying on a single blanket and Gen’s body heat to keep warm- aside from the furnace that Chrome had gotten up and running, but they had to keep him at a distance from it to avoid making his fever worse.

__

“Thank you, Chrome-chan,” Gen whispered as Chrome approached the pair with a fistful of blankets and a mask, having one already tied around his own face. He awkwardly got Gen’s into place.

__

He came back around, crouching down in front of them and studying them quizzically. “How are we gonna do this without waking him up?”

__

Senkuu and Gen were a bit too tangled up for Gen to be able to move without disturbing the sleeping scientist. He couldn’t even turn his head since Senkuu’s was leaning against it. Both of Senkuu’s arms were laying on top of Gen’s, which were holding him around his middle.

__

Gen’s eyes crinkled in a tense way. “Very, _very_ carefully.”

__

Chrome went about putting a makeshift bed together, laying a thicker blanket down right next to the mentalist and piling everything else on top. He stacked several pillows until he judged them to be as close to the right height as he could get them.

__

As he worked he had to listen to the unnerving sound of Senkuu’s struggling breaths. The other boy was panting shallowly even in sleep, sounding distressed, or like he’d greatly overexerted himself. Chrome could usually chuckle at Senkuu’s unfortunate stamina when he would collapse in a gasping heap after traveling the smallest distance, but now, having heard this similar sound, having heard this desperation, when he couldn’t take a full breath in for risk of descending into a violent coughing fit, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to look at it the same way anymore.

__

It was a sound he never wanted to hear again.

__

Moving Senkuu was initially just as much of a challenge as he’d feared. As soon as Gen started to shift, Senkuu started to shift. When Gen removed his arms from around Senkuu’s waist, Senkuu’s fingers fumbled to grasp his retreating sleeves. He kept making mumbling noises like he was about to wake up, so they had to keep pausing and waiting for him to go quiet and still again.

__

Chrome wedged his hands in between them in preparation to hold Senkuu up, his palms immediately overheating against Senkuu’s back.

__

With careful precision, Gen pried himself away and knelt on Senkuu’s other side, helping to support him. He wasn’t all that heavy, but when his body was completely limp he was rather unwieldy.

__

It didn’t take long for their unconscious friend to notice the lack of a warm body behind him, and an awfully pitiful sound escaped him, his brows furrowing. He started to curl, teeth gritted tightly, and before they had even started to move him over he was trembling.

__

“Shh, Senkuu-chan,” Gen crooned, and he and Chrome exchanged a nod before lifting Senkuu up, barely off the ground, and transferring him onto the bed.

__

Gen took extra care to make sure his head was properly positioned on the stack of pillows, then crammed a few more underneath his back to soften the steep angle of it. Chrome gently removed Senkuu’s shoes before moving on to the wrappings on his arms. There was a delicate balance they had to create, as Gen had tried to explain. They needed to keep Senkuu’s fever down, but they also needed to keep him warm. So, in a trial-and-error attempt, they were going to try lightening his clothing while keeping him under several blankets.

__

“I wish he had gone into more etail-day,” Gen lamented dramatically. “All he could really tell me was the basics.”

__

With half his face covered, Gen was inadvertently much easier to read. His eyes spoke volumes.

__

“That bad, huh?”

__

“... yeah. It’s affecting his mind _severely,_ the poor thing."

__

_Damn._ That was bad for _so_ many reasons. Namely… “He can’t give me any advice for making the sulfa drug, then, right?”

__

Gen paused. “Actually, he was able to tell me this much: he thinks it’s the flu, which means it’s viral, which means the sulfa drug won’t help.” His eyes darkened. “And he couldn’t think of any medicines that would.”

__

At first Chrome felt a wave of relief that that massive, complicated task no longer rested on his shoulders. Even if he perfectly remembered every single step in the process, he would have been very hesitant to let Senkuu ingest the final product.

__

With the many complex materials that went into it, one mistake could be fatal.

__

_But, on the other hand…_

__

There was nothing he could create that would fix this.

__

His greatest asset was useless.

__

There was nothing they could do but try to keep Senkuu alive to the other side.

__

He grit his teeth and, setting the wrappings aside, grabbed all of the remaining blankets, piling them onto his shivering friend. They were supposed to have slipped his upper half out of his tunic, but Chrome couldn’t stand to see him tremble like that and most definitely didn’t want to make it worse.

__

With a new determination he grabbed the forgotten damp cloth from the floor and dunked it in the bowl of cold water, Gen holding Senkuu’s long bangs out of the way while he positioned the cloth on his forehead. He watched in vague curiosity as a drop fell into the divot of Senkuu’s left scar, travelling its jagged path down his brow and into the corner of his eye.

__

Senkuu’s eyes clenched tightly at the cold intrusion and he started weakly shaking his head as though to dislodge it.

__

“Shit, sorry,” Chrome exclaimed under his breath, using the edge of the blanket to wipe it away.

__

Thankfully Senkuu stayed asleep, and after a few tense minutes his shivers died down.

__

Gen sighed in relief. “Sounds like you got the pillows just right, Chrome-chan.”

__

And it did- Senkuu was still gasping, but not as quickly or shallowly as before.

__

For now, he was okay.

__

Chrome got up and dragged a sleeping bag over, resisting the urge to rub his eyes. “You can sleep- I’ll take first watch.” It made the most sense; besides, Gen was looking ready to fall over.

__

Nobody had been getting that much sleep lately.

__

“Am I that obvious?” Gen asked in amusement, not bothering to hide his lethargic movements as he accepted it and got himself settled in a few feet away.

__

“Or maybe your mentalist sorcery is rubbing off on me,” Chrome teased. He plopped unceremoniously to the ground, leaning back against the wall closest to Senkuu.

__

Gen didn’t reply beyond a quiet chuckle, and soon his breaths evened out and Chrome was alone to watch over his friend.

__

\--

__

“... wait... ”

__

It must have been several hours, but it felt too soon all the same when Senkuu started to stir. Aside from his loud breathing, everything had been peaceful in the observatory; when Chrome first heard the quiet mumblings, it startled him out of his bored musings.

__

“... _wait…”_

__

_Probably just a dream._

__

“Senkuu?” he whispered, just in case. He crawled closer, straining to see by the light of a flickering candle.

__

Senkuu’s face was contorted with sadness. In a raspy voice he whimpered, “‘m sorry…”

__

Chrome was unsure of what to do, but settled for placing a hand on Senkuu’s shoulder. “Hey, Senkuu, it’s okay. Everything’s okay. You’re dreaming.”

__

“I… I…” Ruby eyes opened drowsily, looking up at the ceiling. Senkuu’s voice started to waver with emotion. “I should’ve…”

__

Feeling more and more out of his depth, Chrome sent a glance towards Gen, who apparently was sleeping like a rock.

__

_Should I wake him?_

__

But Gen needed his rest for when he took over later so Chrome could get some more work done for the cell phone; they were still on a time limit and he was worried that if they fell too far behind, Senkuu would work his sickly self to death trying to make up for lost progress- or, even worse, work _the rest of them_ to death.

__

“Senkuu, please wake up!” Chrome quietly urged, giving his shoulder a tiny shake. Senkuu grew tense under his hand, eyes drifting over to fix upon Chrome’s face. His normally analytical gaze was clouded, and, to Chrome’s horror, tears were welling up in his eyes.

__

“Dad… Please don’t be upset…”

__

_Shit shit shit-_

__

“It’s me, _Chrome,”_ he insisted, pulling his mask down for just a moment in the hopes that a familiar face would spark some kind of recognition in those dull eyes.

__

Senkuu didn’t seem to notice, staring up at him but not seeing _him_ at all.

__

“I’m sorry I didn’t… tell you…” He coughed. _"Please_ don’t be mad… I-I-” the tears spilled over, “-I sent you… did you see her?”

It was so out of character that it made a deep, dark, hysterical part of Chrome want to laugh. 

__

He was startled when a warm hand clutched his wrist with surprising strength. Senkuu was staring at him more intently, obviously waiting for a response. The only thing that came to mind was, “See who?”

__

“Did you see her? I thought- I thought you’d see it… I know you’re busy… but I thought…”

__

“Senkuu-”

__

“I’m sorry, Dad… I should’ve… told you…” Senkuu seemed to be growing more and more upset, breathing harder and raspier and voice sounding more vulnerable than Chrome had ever heard. His expression was one he’d never seen on Senkuu before.

__

Despair.

__

He hated it.

__

“Senkuu.”

__

“...Kyu...rii… she’s… she’s...”

__

Senkuu’s voice faltered and faded into a soft sob. It broke his heart.

__

Chrome grabbed Senkuu’s hand in both of his, rubbing his thumbs over the back of it soothingly. He leaned closer. “Senkuu,” he entreated softly.

__

Senkuu blinked slowly, forcing more tears out, and Chrome watched as awareness seemed to trickle back into his mind. His mouth was hanging open ever so slightly in a look of surprise, and his red eyes widened.

__

“...Chrome...?”

__

Chrome thanked the gods profusely.

__

“I’m right here. Everything is okay.”

He squeezed his hand for emphasis. 

__

Senkuu’s hand was rougher than he’d thought, covered in calluses and old burns and countless scars. The hand of a hardworking man. It had seen years of spilled chemicals, sharp metals, rough stones and the flames of science.

__

And yet it was also small, having an almost delicate quality to it despite the strength he knew it held. He had never really paid much attention to the size difference between himself and his mentor; Senkuu was an undeniably small person, and his hand could easily be enveloped by one of Chrome’s. It was just hard to tell because he had such a larger-than-life personality, making him seem more imposing than he was… Although the insanely tall hair probably had something to do with it as well.

__

“Chrome…”

__

Thin fingers turned in his grip and reciprocated it, surprising him out of his thoughts- he hadn’t thought Senkuu would want to prolong contact after coming back to his senses. He was tactile with his friends, but on his own terms- he was fine with initiating it, patting the kids’ heads and giving out high-fives and sometimes leaning against the shoulders of the people in his inner circle if they were near, but he tended to shy away from others if they tried to initiate.

__

And holding hands was _definitely_ not his type of ‘tactile’.

__

Senkuu tried to continue speaking, but his breaths hitched and he instead descended into a bout of harsh coughs. Chrome could hear something wet catching in his lungs and winced.

__

Before Chrome could lever his hands underneath his friend and lift him, Senkuu suddenly launched upright, folding forwards and hacking urgently. Chrome caught him by the sternum and kept a reassuring hand pressed to his back. His heart was racing and it was taking all of his self control not to freak out. The fear he felt for his closest friend was making his head spin, especially because not that long ago he’d been in this same situation, watching someone he loved suffocating to death in front of him-

__

And then, finally, something changed- Senkuu coughed and coughed, growing more and more frantic, and then there was the sound of something being forced out of his throat. He lurched, choked, phlegm flying from his mouth, and then he inhaled deeply and it was like a sweet song to Chrome’s ears. 

Not perfect, but much clearer- and the coughing had stopped. 

__

Senkuu wrapped his arms around himself and panted heavily, obviously relishing in being able to _breathe_ again. Chrome panted right alongside him, almost giddy in his relief.

__

“You okay?” he asked once both of them had calmed down.

__

Senkuu didn’t reply.

__

“Oh, hang on-”

__

Once he made sure Senkuu could stay upright on his own, Chrome clumsily crawled over to snag the cup he’d brought up earlier. He filled it with water from the bowl, hoping it wasn’t too cold, and held the rim to Senkuu’s lips.

__

“Drink.”

__

Senkuu did as told without a word, tipping his head back and drinking every last drop. When the cup was empty his head fell forward again and he continued to pant, still holding himself tightly.

__

“...Chrome...”

__

The scientist in question set the cup down and leaned closer, trying to make eye contact but failing.

__

“Yeah?”

__

“... I can’t find her.”

__

His stomach lurched.

__

_Not this again._

__

“Find who?”

__

He watched Senkuu clench his jaw, feeling uneasy.

__

“I… I _lost_ her…”

__

He sounded so angry. So grieved. Chrome hadn’t realized the scientist was capable of such potent self-loathing, but suddenly it was radiating from every pore.

__

“What are you talk-”

__

“I was supposed to _protect_ her. And I _lost_ her.”

__

His voice didn’t raise, but the hairs on the back of Chrome’s neck stood up anyway.

__

_Damn it._

__

He should’ve _known_ Senkuu wouldn’t just magically be better. He should have taken the signs for what they were.

__

Chrome put a hand on that tense shoulder. “Let’s get back to sleep, Senkuu. We’ve got lots of work to do in the morning, remember? You were gonna tell me all about how to make plastic.”

__

That finally seemed to break through the delirium, at least for a moment. Senkuu peeked at him past his hanging bangs and offered a relevant response. “I… was?”

__

“Hell yeah! And it sounds _bad!_ I can’t wait.”

__

“Oh… right. Need to… get back...”

__

His train of thought seemed to break down and he went quiet again, but he was pliant to Chrome’s guiding hands and laid down without another episode. Chrome wasn't sure if it was the mention of science, the reminder of his current life, or both that had broken through to Senkuu, but he wasn't going to question it. 

__

He wondered if Senkuu would remember any of this when he got better and came back to himself.

__

He wondered if they’d ever find out who “She” was.

__

As he got his friend comfortable again he spared a moment to press the back of his hand to Senkuu’s forehead.

__

_Hot._

__

_What the hell else was I expecting? His face is so flushed and he barely has a grasp on reality!_

__

He wished he’d felt for a temperature earlier so he had something to compare this result to. As it stood, he had no idea if it had gone up or not.

__

_But he seems stable for now. I’ll have Gen check when he wakes up._

__

The last dregs of adrenaline left his system and exhaustion set in. He watched with heavy eyelids as Senkuu quickly fell back asleep.

__

_Still,_ he thought to himself as he pulled Senkuu’s blanket up to his chest, _I’d better keep an extra close eye on him ‘til then._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, ya girl Kohaku comes back later.
> 
> You were promised secrets in the description and now you're getting them! In this chapter we finally get some clues about the mysterious "Her" Senkuu keeps getting stuck on. Some of you have already made guesses as to her identity, and they're really good ones! But nobody's gotten it yet. I promise she's not who most of you think she is. 
> 
> Anyone who figures it out before the reveal gets 10 billion points!
> 
> Side note: smol emotional Senkuu is my guilty pleasure. 
> 
> I'll try to keep updating this as regularly as possible, but my classes have started so my free time will soon be mostly for homework :(
> 
> Thank you all for reading and supporting! I hope you're enjoying it so far!


	5. A random delusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. my. glob. You guys continue to absolutely blow me away with your continued support and praise. Seriously. I have never enjoyed writing a story so much. 
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for the love, support, and for giving me something to smile about :)

When Gen woke up, the first thing he did was check Senkuu’s temperature.

_Damn it._

“What’s wrong?” Chrome asked nervously.

“It’s gone up.”  
\--

_He wakes up in spring._

_He is all alone._

_His stomach drops as he studies the landscape around him._

_It’s wondrous, in a terrible way, how nature has completely retaken its claim on the corpse of civilization. All he sees for miles and miles is green. Not a human structure in sight._

_This is something he can adapt to. He knows exactly how long he’s been petrified, and had been expecting something like this in the case that the rest of humanity was in the same shape as him. It’ll make survival much harder, but he’s confident he can use his expansive knowledge to not only survive, but rebuild. ___

____

_He can accept this._

____

_This isn’t what has him quivering. This isn't what has him falling to his knees._

____

They were all near me when it happened… so where are they?

__**Where is she?** _ ****_

_There’s only one statue in his vicinity. A woman, face frozen in fear, hands held up as if she’d been clutching a clipboard to her chest. She’s completely naked now, but even without her trademark polka dot scrubs he can recognize her._

__

She was leaving my room when it happened.

__

_She had been mere feet away from him._

__

_And yet the people who had been even closer were nowhere to be found._

__

_He knows any number of things could have happened over these thousands of years. Natural disasters, building collapses, wildlife interference…_

__

_They could be_ anywhere.

__

_The world suddenly seems all too big._  
\--

__

Senkuu’s breathing had gotten worse again, according to Chrome. Apparently he’d been able to clear his airway during the night and was able to breathe almost normally for a few hours, but as the night dragged on it just continued to revert.

__

They watched as Senkuu started to squirm restlessly, mumbling to himself. His fever hadn’t gone up too much that Gen could tell, but it was going in the opposite direction that they needed it to.

__

The rag on his brow was newly cold, and they’d removed all but one of his blankets.

__

Gen hoped that was enough.  
\--

__

_He searches as carefully and methodically as he can. First he finds the Miracle Cave. He takes note of its location and carries on._

__

_No matter where he looks, he can’t find the few faces he wants to see. He’s swimming in a sea of strangers. Wants to help all of them, of course, but he can’t do that alone._

__

_He sets up his base close to where he woke up. They_ have _to be close by._

__

_He finds Taiju by accident, tripping over the big oaf’s arm on his way to the stream. A joy he had long since forgotten springs up within him, filling him with something dangerous- hope._

__

_Thankfully depetrification has a sort of healing effect on the body; because of this he’s able to lug his giant friend’s stone form up the hill without worrying about straining himself._

__

_He still struggles, of course, because when it comes to physical exertion he will always struggle. But it’s a vast improvement over the time when simply walking was too painful._

__

_He settles Taiju in the cave to have the nitric acid steadily drip onto him. As he stands over his best friend, he gives in to the emotions that have been ravaging him for weeks and_ begs _him to wake up._

__

_Nothing happens. He returns to his hut._

__

_A week later he finds Yuzuriha, trapped in the trunk of a tree not far from where he’d found Taiju. Like Taiju, her face is a sight for sore eyes. He could get drunk on the recognition that springs to mind when he looks at her._

__

_He’s relieved to see she’s completely unbroken, simply waiting to be set free._

__

Soon.

__

_He doesn’t have the strength to reliably catch her upon cutting the trunk away, so he has to leave her there for now. Even with this disappointment, though, he refuses to give up. Something good has come from this._

__

_They were approximately thirty-five feet apart._

__

Which means she might be somewhere nearby.  
\--

__

Senkuu had started making distressed sounds. He didn’t try to speak, but the whimpers and gasps were infinitely worse in Gen’s opinion.

__

Thankfully Chrome- like most of the other members of the Kingdom of Science- looked up to Gen for, much like Senkuu, being able to come up with solutions to almost any situation.

__

_Well… hopefully he still does._

__

Screaming for help and panicking over what turned out to be blood from Senkuu having bitten his tongue probably hadn’t done his clever, composed image much good.

__

Regardless, Gen figured he could get away with plenty of things in this context that Chrome wouldn’t bat an eye at- so he gave in to his first impulse and sat right beside Senkuu, brushing his fingers comfortingly through his hair.

__

“Hush, now,” he crooned affectionately. “You’re okay.”

__

Surprisingly the spiky, gravity-defying hair was _extremely_ soft. Sweaty and gross, of course, but _soft._

__

“Everything is a-okay…”

__

Chrome hovered close by, watching with bated breath.

__

Slowly the tension leaked from Senkuu’s face, and that terribly sad expression bled away. His jaw unclenched and fell open again.

__

“Aw, _bad!_ ” Chrome whispered with a fist pump. “You really _are_ a sorcerer!”

__

“Well, I don’t know about _that…_ ” Gen replied amusedly, fingers catching in a knot and absently untangling it.

__

Chrome shrugged goodnaturedly before sluggishly making his way to the hatch.

__

“Where do you think you’re going, Chrome-chan?”

__

Chrome paused, surprised. “To… get back to work?”

__

Gen gave him a _look._

__

“First you’re getting some sleep. You’re of no use to anyone if you’re dead on your feet.”

__

Chrome rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. “No use, huh?”

__

_Oh my god. They’re exactly the same person._

__

_“Yes._ If you die in some sleepiness-induced lab accident and leave me to deal with Senkuu-chan all alone, I’ll learn _real_ sorcery, resurrect you, and then kill you myself. Now _go to bed._ ”

__

“Yeah yeah, okay, _Mom,_ ” Chrome retorted with what Gen was sure was a shit-eating grin.

__

Just for the hell of it Gen harnessed another of his _looks_ and unleashed it upon him. If he wanted a mom, he was getting her wrath.

__

“You’re welcome for looking after you, my _almost adult who should know better_ son.”

__

He was probably supposed to be saying something suave and clever right now, considering he was a mentalist and whatnot and it was _kind of his thing,_ but he was functioning on approximately four hours of sleep and wasn’t in the mood to be subtle. _Especially_ not with Chrome, the selfless moron.

__

Then Chrome laughed and Gen couldn’t help but smile under his mask.

__

He’d handled it correctly after all.

__

And it certainly felt nice to smile again.

__

Chrome wriggled into his sleeping bag, which he’d set up near the furnace, and was asleep as soon as he settled in.

__

Gen turned back to Senkuu, who also was quiet. His arm was starting to cramp up and it probably wasn’t necessary to comfort his friend anymore, so he retracted it and tried to think of ways to pass the time.

__

… Only to find his hand back in Senkuu’s hair.

__

_It’s so soft!_

__

Sighing to himself, he moved to sit on his knees behind Senkuu’s head. With both hands he combed through the sweaty locks, working out tangles here and there. Once that was done, he started playing with it out of sheer boredom, styling it into pigtails, then a ponytail, then braiding it as best he could from this angle. It was messy and nothing to be proud of, but it was a change from the way Senkuu always styled his hair and so it looked pretty amazing to Gen. What was once a leek-esque cloud floating above his head was now a solid mass of long hair.

__

His mind was further blown when he undid the braid and found Senkuu’s locks to be limp in his hands- _like actual hair._

__

He wished Senkuu would sit up so he could see him with it down, framing his face.

__

_Although I think my heart would give out..._

__

With nothing else to do, he started massaging Senkuu’s scalp, hoping it helped him feel better somehow.

__

“...Oh, by th’ way,” Chrome’s slurred voice suddenly piped up, startling Gen just a little. He turned to look at him, resisting the urge to laugh aloud at the dumb, sleepy look on Chrome’s face.

__

“Yes, Chrome-chan?” he asked sweetly. _Go back to sleep, you adorable idiot._

__

Seeming to sense his amusement, Chrome patted at his face until he could open his eyes all the way.

__

“No, don’t you patronize me- it’s important!”

__

Gen _did not_ roll his eyes. “What is it?”

__

“When you’re sick like that, and you’re hallucinating, can you see things that are real- or, I mean, _were_ real?”

__

The familiar sense of _I don’t like this_ came bubbling back up in Gen’s gut. “Is this about something Senkuu-chan said last night?”

__

Chrome’s brown eyes were downcast, solemn. “Yeah. He kept apologizing to his dad for something. Kept saying he should’ve told him ‘about her.’” He bit his lip. “He was _crying,_ Gen.”

__

To distract himself from the tightness in his chest that that mental image brought, Gen started delicately tracing his fingers over the outlines of Senkuu’s face. A tiny noise that sounded like a pleased hum was carried on Senkuu’s rasping exhale.

__

“Then, later, he kept going on and on about not being able to ‘find her’.”

__

Gen paused, the day before flashing through his mind’s eye.

__

**_“Where is she?”_ **

__

_So that wasn’t just a random delusion, then- ee, Senkuu-chan?_

__

_She’s someone important to you. Did you ever find her? Are you just remembering a time before you did?_

__

_Who is she?_

__

_What is she to you?_

__

Chrome interrupted his thoughts.

__

“I think her name is Kyurii; at least, that’s what it sounded like. It’s the only word he said that wasn’t a word.”

__

“Interesting indeed.”

__

_Kyurii, huh? That sounds oddly familiar..._

__

“Do you know who she could be?”

__

Gen shook his head. “Not a clue,” he whispered cheerfully.

__

His hands resumed massaging Senkuu’s head- mostly so he could hide how they shook.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Asagiri "Suddenly the Mom Friend" Gen, everyone. 
> 
> Once again, some REALLY good guesses about who Kyurii is- I'm not gonna say if anyone gets it right, I'm gonna let the story tell you :) 
> 
> I will say, however, that some of your guesses keep making me go :O "Damn! I wish *I'd* thought of that!" You guys are so creative and observant! I almost wish I could write alternate versions of the story where most of it is the same but each version has Kyurii as being someone different, but I think that would be simultaneously taxing and lazy, heh heh. I just hope you enjoy what the actual truth is!
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you next chapter!


	6. So long as she could stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got sick enough to stay home from work, but not too sick to write this scene. 
> 
> **I do NOT think Senkuu is OOC in this chapter (at least not significantly), and it shall become more clear later.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Someone had messed with the settings on his bed. He was reclined at more of an angle when he _knew_ it had been almost flat when he’d fallen asleep. Had Taiju and Yuzuriha done something before they left?

_Wait, what am I holding?_

He was lying on his side, arms wrapped around something warm. It was breathing slowly and peacefully.

Groaning, Senkuu opened his eyes. His vision was blurry and he blinked a few times to clear it, face pulled in confusion.

Once everything became clearer, though, his thoughts did too.

_Oh. That’s right._

The hospital room was spacious and clean, decorated simplistically in soft pastels. The fake orchids on the windowsill were less of an eyesore now, with the brilliant light of sunset painting their waxy petals a fiery orange.

It wasn’t his first hospital stay, nor would it probably be his last. At this point he should have been used to waking up to this kind of view.

Something was different this time, though. His gaze drifted to the warm body sharing his bed, and he couldn’t help the smile that ever-so-slightly pulled at his lips.

_Kyurii._

He remembered now- he’d still been feeling absolutely awful after the whole ordeal and, as soon as Nurse Aki left, he’d pulled Kyurii up to join him. She'd been more than willing to do so, and after some awkward shuffling she was situated in his arms. He wasn’t supposed to be moving around so much right now, and it hurt like hell, but he couldn’t help it- he wanted her near.

And, of course, she’d passed out almost immediately. Not that he could blame her; he’d fallen asleep just as quickly.

She was still out cold, and he took advantage of the peace and drowsily admired her. She was so _beautiful._ Looking at her lovely face never failed to make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was almost hard to believe she was _his-_ she was too breathtaking and perfect to be a mere mortal like him.

His fingers combed through her soft hair carefully, amusement bubbling up at how normal it was compared to his- black versus, as Yuzuriha lovingly put it, bok choy.

They made quite the odd pair.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’d never known it was possible to feel something like this, something so strong and unshakable.

He loved her. _So_ much.

Overcome with affection, he pulled her closer, tucking her head under his chin. His hair had come out of its ponytail and now fell over his face, green ends brushing against her cheek. With great care he brushed it back, touch coming back to linger on her face for a moment.

She made a sleepy, happy sound and snuggled up to him, ever trusting and sweet.

In the silence that followed, he swore to himself one thing.

_I will protect her. Even if I can’t get any other part of this right, I’ll do that much. Ten billion percent._

Kyurii sighed against his neck, her hand grabbing gently at his hospital gown. The warm and fuzzy feeling returned full force, and he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

_I’m so glad I have you._

She would never know just how much she meant to him. How much she had saved him from simply by being there. Things had gotten rough over the past few weeks, but having her was what motivated him to keep moving forward- they needed each other.

Just seeing her smile was enough to make all of his troubles fade into the background. It was all he needed.

Well… almost all.

Something was missing. His heart ached a little; full of so much joy, still so empty.

_I wonder if Dad will visit tomorrow._

He had yet to see his father, which was unusual because he was usually right there with him whenever he needed to be admitted, usually with a huge, corny _GET WELL SOON!!!!_ card and cheap stuffed animal from the gift shop in hand. It was rare for Senkuu to find his visitor’s chair empty. 

His dad would always have some sort of game ready to distract him with, or an article to read to him from if Senkuu’s eyes were too sore, or stories to softly relay until the meds kicked in and Senkuu could finally get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

Sometimes, when it was really bad, Byakuya would just sit on the bed with him and rest his hand on his head, silent except for a few quiet words to make sure Senkuu felt safe.

What he wouldn’t give to feel the soothing warmth from that trusted hand right now.

Taiju and Yuzuriha had come and hung out with him for several hours, helping to fill the void but never entirely. It had been hard to hide the way he kept habitually glancing at the door, as though it would summon the figure he was wanting so desperately to see.

His friends noticed all the same and tried their best to keep things positive.

He was somewhat surprised Taiju was still functioning, in all honesty- he’d been the one to find Senkuu doubled over on the floor at five in the morning, puking his guts out and crying, and he’d been the one to call for an ambulance and go to the hospital with him. He'd stayed with him while he was poked and prodded and hooked up to machines and in overall agony, and once things had calmed down and Senkuu was able to snag some sleep, he’d headed out with the promise to return as soon as he could. Senkuu had thought he was going home to finally get some rest, but it turned out he’d actually headed to the school to escort Yuzuriha.

 _That lovesick idiot,_ he thought fondly.

The worst of it had hit him unexpectedly while Taiju was gone, and that’s where Kyurii came in. At first he’d been too delirious from the pain and lightheadedness to fully realize she was there- and then he’d grabbed her and refused to let go. She was crying, terrified, and it broke his heart, but he was _so happy_ to see her all the same. The nurses tried to separate them so they could get their work done, probably needed to save his life and whatnot, but he’d clung to her like his life depended on it and she’d started crying harder, practically begging to stay, and when he shot them his most venomous glare and honest-to-god _growled_ , they finally backed off and did their job around her.

He didn’t care if they were less efficient, so long as she could stay.

Having her against his chest, hearing her voice as she sobbed, helped keep him alert even as his heart rate monitor kept beeping with increasing urgency and his vision blurred and it was suddenly so _cold-_

_Why didn’t he come to see me today?_

He couldn’t remember.

Taiju returned after he'd been stabilized, Yuzuriha in tow. He’d freaked when he realized he hadn’t been there when Senkuu “needed him the most”, but Senkuu waved him off, secretly glad Taiju hadn’t been there to see things get so bad. The big oaf was rather... _sensitive._ He’d have been traumatized.

On a more positive note, they got to officially meet Kyurii, who liked them instantly. After she had recovered from the scare she spent plenty of time bonding with them while Senkuu was conked out.

He regretted not being able to stay awake for very long, because ultimately his friends only got to speak with him for a cumulative hour or so before they needed to head home for the night. He was sure he slept better because they were there, though.

(And he was pretty sure Yuzuriha had been combing her fingers through his hair, and it was almost close enough.)

_I wonder how mad he is that I didn’t tell him about her._

Ishigami Byakuya was a man who easily forgave, never holding grudges. He was too upbeat and kind for that.

_But this is kind of a big deal… I should have told him._

Senkuu wasn’t generally one to work himself up about how someone else might feel about something, but his nerves were doing most of the thinking for him.

He came back to the present with a sigh.

_I wonder if he’ll visit at all._

Even if his father was angry, Senkuu wanted him to come. He wanted to finally introduce Kyurii to him. He wanted to get it all over with so this stupid anxious feeling could go to hell.

He was miserable and just wanted his dad.

_What if… he…_

The sun had set a while ago.

As if in a trance, Senkuu couldn’t stop himself from pausing, eyes drawn inexplicably to the night sky out the window.

_He couldn't..._

The stars twinkled ominously.

_He…_

A sudden pain exploded in his head as 3,700 years’ worth of memories came flooding in. His very foundations cracked wide open, leaving him with nowhere solid to stand. An ocean of horror and loss came crashing down onto him.

Senkuu knew why his dad was nowhere to be found.

Why he would _never_ get to meet Kyurii.

Why Senkuu would _never_ see him again.

He sat there, frozen. All he wanted was his father…

But his father had died thousands of years ago.

_Not even his bones remain._

The hospital started to rot around him.

Senkuu pulled Kyurii closer, except he couldn’t feel her comforting weight anymore.

He looked down at his arms.

_Empty._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we finally meet the mysterious Kyurii... I'm curious what you guys think her story will be. I may have given too much away as it is!
> 
> Don't make any final judgments yet, though- the secrets are just beginning, and I may have a twist or two up my sleeve... not everything is as it seems here.
> 
> I don't have it planned out per se, but I'm getting the vibe that I'll only need a few more chapters to tell this story. We're coming up on the big stuff :) Soon we'll get to the scene that I originally thought of first, and built this whole story around, and have been waiting eagerly to reach!
> 
> Also: this chapter features super soft!Senkuu, and I have no regrets. I think internally he can be pretty sappy and emotional, at least in specific settings (as will be expanded upon in a later chapter), but rarely is externally emotional. Doesn't mean the feels aren't still there!
> 
> Anyway, see you next chapter!


	7. Gen could wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I realized I kinda shot myself in the foot by updating twice in the same day, because the date updated doesn't change and at a glance it may look like there's no change. I don't know if that threw anyone off, but if you didn't see it, I posted chapter 6 yesterday also! Please read that before reading this one!
> 
> Anyway, on with the show!
> 
> Here's what I think a lot of you have been waiting for :D

Gen had just wrung out the cloth and set it back on Senkuu’s forehead not ten minutes ago and already it was warming up. 

Senkuu’s high temperature stayed the same throughout the day, much to Gen's chagrin- even though Gen had been downright religious about keeping him hydrated and keeping the wet cloth cold, every time he touched his cheek or his neck he was always met with the same uncomfortable heat. It was preferable to it rising again, but he was concerned that it refused to go down. He didn’t know how long it was supposed to take for a fever to break without medicinal help, but surely it was almost done running its course, right?

Senkuu had been quiet and still almost all day save for a few disgruntled noises or particularly harsh gasps. There had been one coughing fit late in the afternoon, but that had only ended with Senkuu passed out again, breathing sounding more strained than before.

Gen guessed it was around midnight now, but it was hard for him to tell. For ventilation he and Chrome had opened the roof just a sliver- through that he could see it was pitch black outside, but beyond that he had difficulty judging the time. It felt like it had been days since the sun had set.

Chrome had gone back to work after sleeping for a few hours, which meant Gen had been stuck playing nursemaid for the entire day and, now, late into the night.

He rubbed at his forehead with a groan.

It wasn’t that he _minded_ taking care of Senkuu- it was simply the boredom of sitting around and waiting for Senkuu to need something that was killing him on the inside.

Still, there was nowhere else he’d rather be. Seeing his friend so vulnerable hurt him and he wanted to do whatever he could to make him better.

Sometimes, when he would lean over Senkuu while adjusting his blanket or coaxing him to swallow the water he’d poured into his mouth, he’d have flashbacks to that night, months ago, when their roles had been reversed. When every inch of his body hurt, and his blood boiled with fever, and the only thing he could see was this strange, kind person's shadow thrown against the wall in front of him. He remembered being in silent awe of the first real display of kindness shown to him in this stone world; Senkuu had to keep him alive for strategic reasons, and yet he'd looked into his alarmingly red eyes and seen genuine compassion for the first time in over three thousand years.

He remembered a thin arm braced against the ground by his chest, the feeling of someone leaning over him, their hips bumping as Senkuu twisted to lean down and listen to Gen’s pained whispering, their faces just inches apart.

Somehow that was one of the most intimate moments of Gen's life.

They’d barely known each other. Of course, both of them were known for being particularly observant and he had no doubt Senkuu had been able to figure out almost as much about Gen as Gen had about Senkuu, but they had yet to truly _know_ each other. Their glorious relationship was only in its infancy.

He remembered, more than anything, the feeling of Senkuu pressed against his back and side, as fleeting as it had been. His precious Senkuu-chan was too short to lean over him like that without touching him.

Gen had wanted to shrink away from the touch at first, fearing his cold skin would make Gen’s chills worse even through his tunic, but then he realized that everywhere their bodies made contact, a pleasant heat radiated. He’d wished he was able to say more, to keep Senkuu there, to keep that heat, but then Senkuu was sitting up and making his promise and Gen had never felt so fulfilled yet so forlorn.

Now, thinking back on it, he wondered if Senkuu had felt something too.

The scientist was the type to shy away from intimacy of all types. Unless he was the one to initiate, he avoided it.

 _But,_ Gen wondered, _did he see that as intimate? Is that why he was so quick to pull away?_

Gen could be honest with himself- hell, he’d even been honest with _Senkuu_ about it.

The observatory had been more than just a birthday present. By putting that much thought into the idea, he’d been hoping to communicate how he felt. Just to make sure, he’d even more or less told Senkuu out loud.

From the very beginning, before they’d even met, he had liked him.

(And from the first moment he'd seen who he truly was- seen his kindness, seen the passion that lit up his eyes, seen the brilliance of which he was capable- he had _loved_ him.)

He’d seen how Senkuu’s eyes had softened- sometimes, when one wanted to read what Senkuu was truly feeling, one needed to look only at his eyes, ignoring what the rest of his face was doing. 

With his mouth he would try to throw you off, but with his eyes he said it all.

Senkuu had known exactly what he was saying. And, from what Gen could read, his feelings weren’t rejected. They just weren’t acted on, either.

Gen’s sharp gaze had caught all of the tells, and he accepted Senkuu’s wordless response with a smile.

_He just isn’t ready for anything like that._

_Yet._

But that was fine. Gen could wait- patience could be a mentalist’s greatest asset, after all, and he had it in spades.

Besides, he hadn’t gotten nothing for putting himself out there; he and Senkuu had grown closer than ever. They were best friends, even if Senkuu was hesitant to say it in so many words. They spent most of their waking hours in each other’s company, working together or simply talking through plans, eating together, some nights falling asleep side-by-side, sometimes staying up late and chatting, reminiscing about what they missed most from their era.

Senkuu tended to let him do most of the talking on that topic, but Gen was starting to see why; whatever tools and technology he wanted, he would be able to recreate for himself given enough time. There wasn’t much to _miss,_ more to look forward to.

But the _people_ he missed couldn’t be recreated. Two were far away, in enemy lands. One was long dead. God only knew what happened to the other.

He yawned, rubbing a tear from his eye tiredly.

That only brought back to mind the topic that had been eating away at Gen for hours. He hadn’t given it much thought before Chrome had brought it up again that morning, having dismissed Senkuu’s “her” as a delusion of some sort. Maybe he thought he’d lost Yuzuriha?

Now, though, it wouldn’t leave him alone. Senkuu was clearly in great distress over this mysterious person and not being able to find her- enough to make Gen think he actually _had_ lost someone. Who could he have been so upset about? What could have happened to warrant this kind of response? What dark thoughts were haunting his poor, sickly Senkuu-chan?

He had theories, of course. The more Chrome had said, the more it had narrowed down what they could be. There were certain aspects of Senkuu’s behavior that particularly caught Gen’s attention, as did this person’s name. If he was remembering correctly, he was pretty sure he knew where he’d heard it before.

The number of possible answers was dwindling. The more he contemplated it, the more obvious it became. He could count his theories on one hand.

And he didn’t like any of them.

As if sensing that Gen’s thoughts had shifted, Senkuu suddenly hummed and rolled onto his side, limp hair falling over his face. It was hard to see in the low lighting, but it looked like he was hugging himself. He’d been doing that a lot lately when his boiling brain cooked up something in a dream that he found upsetting, but this time, oddly enough, his face was smooth. He looked almost content.

_That has to be a good sign, right?_

The scientist was still besides the struggling rise and fall of his chest. Gen watched over him carefully, making sure a nightmare wasn’t in the works, and was pleased that many minutes later Senkuu was still fine.

Gen wondered if he was almost out of the woods.

He also wondered if he could get some sleep while his friend was in a relatively good place. If he laid close by he would be woken up by anything urgent, wouldn’t he? Senkuu was pretty good at projecting his state rather loudly. When he got overheated he groaned and thrashed about, and when he had nightmares he started mumbling.

_What if he gets too cold, though? All he does is shiver._

_Damn it._

Senkuu didn’t cough while he was asleep. Gen wasn’t sure if that was impossible or if they just got lucky, but when his friend _did_ burst into coughs all of a sudden, he took it as a sign he was waking up. He sprang into action. There was still no sign of Chrome returning, so Gen had to lift Senkuu up himself; he wedged his hands beneath him and lifted, slipping behind him to, once more, use himself as a leaning post.

“Senkuu-chaaan,” he singsonged. Something deep in his stomach clenched at the sound Senkuu’s breathing made, at how strained and raspy it was. There had been periods of his sleep where he breathed harder and struggled more, and in those moments he looked and sounded like a dying man.

He tried not to think about that.

“Senkuu-chaaaaan,” he tried again.

Senkuu groaned, cracking one ruby eye open just slightly.

“Wh-”

He immediately started to cough again.

Tutting to himself, Gen grabbed the cup of water sitting beside them and waited til the fit was over. He then made careful work of coaxing his dazed friend into drinking. At first Senkuu was hesitant, but the moment the cold water touched his throat he was frantic to gulp it all down as quickly as possible.

He was just lucky it didn’t go down the wrong pipe.

After that they just sat there for a while, not saying anything. Senkuu was only semiconscious and stared distantly at the wall, while Gen was on the verge of falling asleep against his back.

His eyes stung and he wanted nothing more than to close them and drift off.

Still, sleeping like this would only be painful for them later.

“Can you eat anything, Senkuu-chan?”

It was minute, but there was a shake of the head.

“Okay- let’s get back to sleep, then.”

For now he wasn’t going to press it- the water had been his priority.

_If you don’t eat some soup next time, though…_

He began lowering Senkuu to lie back down. In his exhaustion, however, he made no move to distance himself and instead tucked his friend under his arm and pulled him to his side, allowing Senkuu’s head to lie on his shoulder. He knew Senkuu normally wouldn’t agree to this, but Gen needed sleep and needed to be close enough to monitor his condition. It was only practical.

He also figured that if he kept the blanket down at their waists, the slight chill in the air would balance out the introduction of Gen’s body heat and keep Senkuu’s fever from rising.

Thankfully for now, wracked with fever and pain, Senkuu didn’t seem to mind the closeness in the slightest. In fact, before Gen could process it, one trembling arm came to wrap around his middle and Senkuu moved his head to rest on his chest, right over his heart.

And Gen could only stare down at his pretty face, inches from his own, and wonder if Senkuu knew what he was doing.

Senkuu let out a sigh, eyes fluttering closed.

Gen was unsure of what to feel.

Suddenly this was so much more intimate than before.

He hadn’t realized Senkuu would reciprocate and make himself at home…

Was this considered “taking advantage”? He knew on any other given day Senkuu would rather die than be held like this, especially by someone as slimy as Gen. Really, he was in no state to assess the situation and make a decision about it. He’d probably latched on in the instinctual need to keep warm.

_And yet…_

With a tiny noise the scientist burrowed closer, fist clenching in Gen’s tunic. Gen watched, sadness slowly seeping in, as tears started beading in Senkuu’s eyelashes.

_… Something tells me he needs this._

So Gen did what he always did when his emotions were unreliable- he smiled, even if it was only to himself.

He tightened his hold around Senkuu’s back, hand rubbing soothing circles. With his other hand he tenderly wiped the tears from under his eyes.

Finally, he started to quietly hum.

It was a simple melody, strung together by a fan of his and dramatically named _Black Nightshade;_ it had become the background music for all of Gen’s famous _Learn Body Language Today!_ YouTube videos.

Senkuu had insulted his channel several times in the past, usually zeroing in on his "phony" informational videos- and if Senkuu had ever seen one, it was likely one of those.

Gen slowed the melody down, made it more calming, and allowed it to vibrate deep in his chest while also keeping it quiet so as not to overwhelm Senkuu’s sensitive ear.

_Do you know this song, Senkuu-chan?_

_Did you enjoy my videos, even if they were just fun to pick apart?_

_Did you watch all of them? Did you ever watch more than once?_

_How well did you know me before we met? Did you think about me very often?_

His smile relaxed, became more natural.

_I already know- if I’d met you before the world turned to stone, you still would’ve blown me away. I would’ve been your biggest fan if I’d known about you._

His free hand came up to run through Senkuu’s hair.

_Sometimes I wonder, though, Senkuu-chan._

_Had we met in a time when no necessity pulled us together… what would you have thought of me? Would you have associated with someone like me? Would you have given me the chance you gave me in this era- the chance to prove myself? To prove that I, a slimy mentalist, can be trusted?_

Gen sighed to himself, interrupting his song.

_There I go again, depressing myself._

_I really eed-nay to stop thinking about this stu-_

Senkuu’s grip around him tightened.

“More.”

Gen’s eyes widened and he studied Senkuu, whose eyes were still shut. The tears were gone.

_Did he really just say that? Was I imagining that?_

A crimson eye slid open and peeked up at him. “Gen?”

“A-ah, of course!”

He resumed his lilting tune, heat enveloping his face. He hoped Senkuu couldn’t hear how his heart was positively _racing._

_Has he been cognizant this whole time?!_

_No, no, calm down. Sometimes he seems more lucid than he is. Chill out!_

Whatever the case was, Senkuu seemed unbothered by Gen’s panic. His eye fell shut again and his rasping breaths gradually slowed. Within minutes, he was soundly asleep.

_He looks peaceful. That’s good._

_… I wonder if he feels safer like this._

A saccharine smile crept its way onto his face, and his hand resumed its motions through Senkuu’s thick hair. A warm feeling had taken hold in his chest.

Gen continued to hum for a while, smile never fading, until eventually he was too tired to keep it up. Right before he drifted off, though, he gave into a long-held desire and affectionately brushed his knuckles over Senkuu’s cheek.

“Sleep well, Senkuu-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gen had a corny YouTube channel and you cannot change my mind.
> 
> I hope this met your Sengen (Gensen? Does it matter what order it's in?) expecations. It's nothing too extreme, but definitely more shippy than the rest of this has been.
> 
> Honestly I think Gen thinks about the past a lot- imagining what would have happened if they'd met before everything. He uses his image as a mentalist/magician to impress others with how well he can trick and lie, but I'm sure he feels it all too well when that image of "deceiver" gets in the way of meaningful relationships- so I can imagine him being a bit self-conscious in those imaginings. Senkuu, of course, can read him better than he realizes, and knows right off the bat that there's something worthwhile under all of that fakeness. He doesn't give a shit about your image- he cares about what you're capable of.
> 
> *You may notice that throughout the story I've made little changes to canon besides the obvious AU stuff- like, little details about characters or scenes. (Mostly) all intentional! Those changes may help clue you in to one of Senkuu's biggest secrets :) But that's all Imma say on that for now. 
> 
> As always, thank you for the support. I read every review (obviously) and blush really really hard at the praise you guys have given me, as well as the many kudos; because while I've worked hard on this, sometimes it doesn't feel like it's as good as I try to make it. I get anxious about how some of my changes or takes on things might be received, but you guys are so kind and encouraging and keep pushing me onward! I appreciate it with every fiber of my being. It's an honor to earn your praise!
> 
> Alright, see ya next chapter!


	8. It'll help him too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya girl Kohaku is back and OP as ever. Her as a character concept cracks me up- so slender and beautiful, yet so... extra strength. Somehow. 
> 
> Thanks for your patience! Here's an unexpectedly long chapter! :D

Kohaku readjusted herself, trying to get the feeling back in her legs. Sitting on the hard wooden planks for hours was _not_ her definition of comfortable, but really, what choice did she have? Besides being the occasional supply runner keeping their food and water fresh, all she could do was stand watch outside the observatory’s walls and wait for someone to need her.

Chrome had tried taking over where Senkuu had left off in the lab, but needless to say he wasn’t as adept. He understood enough of the steps to keep himself going, but had a hard time explaining to Kohaku what she could do and how to do it. He just wasn’t a natural teacher.

Virtually useless in the lab, she’d gone to help make the manganese batteries with her sister, Kinrou and Ginrou.

She bit her lip. The problem was, she was just too fast. Even though the group’s progress had slowed once Gen left, she’d easily picked up the slack and now they were done several days ahead of schedule.

She felt kind of bad; now Ruri was stuck with the overly chatty kids as she helped them with the gold wire. She loved kids, but that group could be a handful even for the supernaturally patient.

Kinrou and Ginrou had returned to guarding the bridge; she’d tried training them to death in her boredom, but eventually she had to acknowledge that they did need to stand guard at least _some_ of the time.

She’d then offered her help to Old Man Kaseki, but while he tried to find something for her to do, he ended up doing most of it himself in his fervor. She had a feeling Gen was better suited for the job anyway.

And so she found herself here.

Kohaku was aware that she hadn’t completely run out of options, that she could help with the gold wire too, but…

With each task that became unavailable, she felt it stronger and stronger that the gods wanted her to be here instead.

Or maybe she was projecting because it’s where _she_ wanted to be.

As much as it sucked, at least the boys couldn’t leave her out of the loop if she was always underfoot.

She wanted to help. Senkuu had done so much for the village- _and, most importantly, Ruri-nee-_ and the least she could do to repay him was help get him better again!

Suika had seen her that morning and now kept jogging over every hour or so, asking the same thing:

“Do you know anything yet?”

And Kohaku, hiding her frustration, would always reply:

“Not yet.”

She’d seen the girl interrogating Chrome earlier when he left the lab for a moment, but he’d freaked and told her to stay away, only giving vague, placating answers to her questions before ducking back behind the curtain with finality.

_He must think he’s caught it and doesn’t want it to spread._

_Fantastic._

She was getting so restless, itching to jump into action even if she didn’t know what that entailed yet. She solved problems by _acting._ Sitting around and waiting was torture.

_But of course, for some stupid reason I can’t even get close._

It felt a little like when she was a child and wanted to play with Ruby and Ginrou. Before Ginrou became a lecherous freak at thirteen, he and Ruby had gotten along really well and liked to run around the village together, playing games or making mischief. Kohaku had tried to join in, jealous of how close they were- but she’d always had a reputation for being tenacious and strong and it tended to intimidate them.

So they’d make up dumb excuses as to why she couldn’t play too.

She couldn’t claim to be an expert on diseases. She didn’t know the science behind them and how they spread.

But surely being in the same room as a sick person wouldn’t spread it, right? She’d never caught the sickness from Ruri, even when they slept side-by-side. There’d been a year when half the village suddenly came down with something that made them vomit uncontrollably and she’d been right there in the thick of it, changing blankets and wiping faces and hauling in hot spring water, and she’d never once even felt nauseous.

She’d never really gotten sick in her life, besides the occasional stuffy nose or unsettled stomach. She was strong. It’s why her father had put way too much stock in her, causing her to rebel- she was the healthy one. She could fight off whatever it was that was causing this.

She’d seen Chrome emerge wearing a mask around his face. She wondered if it only spread if it got in your mouth. Ideally she didn’t want to give the illness any opportunity to even try and infect her, even if she knew she could overcome it. If she could avoid getting infected then she wouldn’t have to worry about spreading it to Ruri.

_I can do that!_

And so she stood, stretched, and took off to the lab.

The sun had just risen and there was a particular bite to the air as she walked; she rubbed her arms with a shiver. Her legs were still waking back up, so they didn’t feel the cold just yet.

The Kingdom of Science was a lot less lively lately, she’d noticed. Nobody really left their workstations during the day, and even on breaks didn’t group up to socialize. Every face she passed seemed a little more solemn.

_It’s not like he’s dead._

Even in her annoyance, though, she couldn’t blame them. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t anxious too.

_I just got Ruri-nee back from sickness! And now it’s come for Senkuu…_

_How do you fix someone when they’re the only one that knows how?_

Her frown deepened in determination.

_By figuring it out and doing it yourself._  
\--

Her heart nearly gave out when she walked into the lab, pushing the curtain aside to discover Chrome sprawled on the ground, unconscious. She ran to his side, only to sag with relief when she realized he was just asleep.

“You are _not_ allowed to get sick too,” she whispered sternly, grabbing his discarded coat and laying it over him.

Her hands drifted up, carefully removing the mask that he’d left tied around his neck like a bandana.

Chrome slept on.  
\--

Kohaku was fully aware she was “breaking the rules” when she opened the door to the upper level of the observatory, but since when had she abided by rules anyway? If she had, Senkuu would never even have learned of the village’s existence. Breaking the rules brought them to the most prosperous year the village had seen.

Even if that wasn’t true, she _needed_ to act. She’d waited for almost two days now and was _done._

The cloth tied around her face was thick and hard to breathe through, and she wondered why anyone would be willing to wear one for long periods of time. How was Gen still alive?

As quietly as she could, she climbed in and closed the door behind her.

The observatory was quiet and dark aside from a slim ray of sunlight illuminating the far corner. It took her eyes a while to adjust, but while she waited, no voices greeted her.

_Asleep then, huh?_

When she could finally see, she made out the trademark purple coat huddled off to the side of the telescope. She couldn’t see Senkuu anywhere, though, and grew immediately concerned, considering running back out to see if he’d run off anywhere in a fit of fever madness.

However, as she got closer, rolling her steps carefully to avoid making too much noise, a wolfish grin spread over her face.

_Now isn’t that adorable._

She’d been wondering when the idiots would give up their pretences.

Senkuu was currently sleeping serenely against Gen’s chest- she almost didn’t recognize him at first, his tall hair hanging around his head in waves. Gen was propped against a huge pile of pillows and, for his part, seemed just as comfortable with this setup as his cuddle buddy; one of his hands was delicately cupping the back of Senkuu’s head, holding him closer, and it was just about the cutest thing she’d ever seen. Kohaku was willing to bet they’d been like this for hours.

She reached their bedside and crouched down, mentally _daring_ the sickness to try and infect her.

Now that she was closer, her ears picked up on the crackling sound Senkuu’s shallow breaths made. It wasn’t the gurgling she’d come to associate with Ruri’s breathing, but it brought out unpleasant feelings all the same.

She scowled, affronted; nobody had told her he’d been having issues breathing. She knew a cure for that!

_Of course these morons wouldn’t tell me something important like that._

_How long have they been making you needlessly suffer, Senkuu?_

She stood, going around them to sit behind the scientist, contemplating her next moves. Bring the cure to Senkuu? Kidnap him without telling Gen as revenge? That was definitely more tempting.

A sigh escaped her; Gen panicking was fine by her, but the rest of the village would hear word and panic too. Poor Suika would be devastated and probably get lost in the forest looking for him.

Decision made, she reached out.

Before she could wake Gen, however, Chrome did it for her, bursting through the doors with a _BANG!_

Gen and Senkuu both jumped.

“ _Damn you, Kohaku!_ I told you to _stay out,_ you thief!”

Senkuu hissed in pain at Chrome’s volume, clutching his ears, and the look Gen shot the intruder was absolutely venomous.

“I can _help,_ idiot!” Kohaku spat back, keeping her voice down. “If you’d just _told_ me, I wouldn’t have had to sneak in to find out for myself!”

“Tell you _what?"_

“That he can barely _breathe!”_

Chrome crossed his arms.

“Why does it matter? There’s nothing we can do but wait it out anyway- what’s the point of stressing you out about it?”

She bristled.

“There’s nothing _you_ can do,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m taking him to the hot springs.”

Gen and Chrome visibly paused, looking at her blankly.

“I’m… sorry, I must have misheard you, Kohaku-chan,” Gen said with a pleasant smile. “After all, it’s quite obvious that being exposed to the cold would make Senkuu-chan’s condition _much worse._ The best place for him is here.”

Kohaku watched his grip around Senkuu tighten slightly.

Senkuu, for his part, didn’t seem to realize he was being fought over like a piece of meat. He stayed curled up against Gen, hands over his ears, staring at the wall with glassy eyes.

Kohaku wasn’t about to get into a war of words with the mentalist; she knew full well she was outmatched.

Good thing she didn’t need words to get her way.

However fast Gen could be, Kohaku would always be faster; she dived, arms under Senkuu’s back and knees in less than a second, and pulled back with him before Gen could bodily roll over him to block her. She leapt backwards out of range, holding her friend close to her chest with a serious expression. She wasn’t playing.

Gen scrambled to his feet, coat and hair askew.

“Kohaku-chan! Put him down!”

Senkuu’s arms had shot up to hold her neck as if in fear that she’d drop him, his eyes wide in alarm. She tightened her hold.

Chrome was stomping closer, looking angrier than she’d ever seen. His dark eyes were practically glowing. Her hackles raised warily- he usually knew not to challenge her.

“Give him back! You’re only gonna make things worse!”

She danced out of his reach, back against the opposite wall. Instead of following her, Chrome moved to block the door.

“If you had listened to me at all you’d have heard me say _I know how to help!”_ she insisted hotly. “Why can’t you just _trust me?”_

“It would be easier to do if you weren’t taking him hostage!”

“Kohaku,” Senkuu’s gravelly voice suddenly cut in, “what’s your pl-”

He started coughing, making the others even more cagey.

“Kohaku-chan,” Gen said, and she knew his patience was wearing dangerously thin, “all you’re doing is stressing him out. He’ll be fine in time, but he has to stay indoors.”

She shook her head, gaze flitting to Senkuu as he continued to cough. It sounded painful.

“But if I take him to the hot springs, his breathing will clear!” she protested. “It helped Ruri-nee and I just _know_ it’ll help him too!”

Gen and Chrome paused again, sharing a look. Relief washed over her as they finally seemed to _listen._

“I was gonna bring some of the water here in a jar, but it stops steaming after just a few minutes and the steam is what helped Ruri-nee breathe.”

The coughs finally tapered, and after a few seconds Senkuu let out a low, raspy chuckle.

The others looked surprised; Gen in particular looked close to weeping tears of joy at the familiar sound, and for a moment Kohaku had to wonder how bad things had gotten while she was kept away.

Senkuu’s voice kept cutting out and he was panting really hard, but he haltingly got his message across all the same.

“V’ry… obser-vant…”

He gave a thumbs up, a weak smirk on his face.

“Le’ss go.”  
\--

Senkuu was bundled up into his coat and his shoes were haphazardly tied back on. His hood was pulled up over his head and once he was settled on Kohaku’s back, he nestled his face into the crook of her neck to avoid breathing much of the freezing air.

She let go of his legs in preparation to descend the first ladder, and for some reason he hadn’t seemed to expect this. His legs started to fall from her sides and then he was standing behind her, except his legs promptly buckled and his grip around her throat tightened and he ended up accidentally choking her. Chrome rushed to lift him by the shoulders.

It wasn’t a huge deal, she assured as she picked him back up, internally wincing as the pressure was taken off of her neck. Senkuu whispered an apology and she shrugged it off.

On the second try Senkuu was able to keep his legs wrapped around her waist and they made it down the first ladder. The descent down the second one was a bit more taxing on him, his legs starting to shake from the strain. When her feet finally hit the snow, she immediately had her arms hooked under his legs again. He relaxed with a sigh that turned into a cough.

She impatiently waited for Chrome and Gen to follow, both bundled up for the journey as well. They had been hesitant to agree to this outing, even after Senkuu’s approval, but she didn’t care how they felt so long as they got to the hot springs.

Once they were on the ground she wasted no time, taking off at a steady pace into the woods. She heard their footsteps crunching in the snow a few feet behind her.

Carrying Senkuu was a little too easy for her liking; he fell asleep almost immediately, but even as dead weight he didn’t weigh much. She knew he forgot to eat when he was busy, and was willing to bet most of what he ate went towards fueling his superhuman brain, but as his friend she was concerned.

_No wonder he’s having a hard time surviving the winter!_

She was definitely going to force him to eat more from now on- she’d even stoop to recruiting the mentalist to her cause if need be. She didn’t care if old world intellectuals could get away with being scrawny and weak; in the stone world people like that were always the first to die.

_I need to stop coddling him and make him carry his own damn supplies. I know he had muscles when we met but they’ve gotta be wasting away by now._

Experimentally she grabbed at one of Senkuu’s knees.

_Too bony._

Just in case he decided to wake up at that exact moment and draw weird conclusions, she let go with a sigh to herself and made a mental note to bring this stuff up later, when he wasn’t distracted by being half dead.

The path was one she’d walked hundreds if not thousands of times and it was so familiar she was sure she could walk it in her sleep. She hardly paid attention to the route itself, instead appreciating how beautiful the branches looked, heavy with ice and snow. Winter was brutal, but it was one of her favorite seasons.

About halfway there Gen and Chrome seemed to finally fully give in and relax; they’d been following behind her without a word and while she certainly didn’t mind the quiet, it made her smile to hear them finally let loose.

“So what happened to his hair?” Chrome asked, breaking the silence. “I’ve never seen it down before- not even once.”

She couldn’t see them, but could tell Gen shrugged.

“I just messed with it a bit and it came own-day all on its own.”

“Oh, _you_ did it?”

“Accidentally, yes.”

Chrome laughed.

“Come on, man, why you gotta do him dirty like that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the mentalist asked, sounding a bit offended.

“I mean, he already looks like a girl and now you’ve made it worse!”

Kohaku quirked a brow.

_You’re_ so _lucky he’s asleep, Chrome._

“ _Girly?_ I think the word you’re looking for is _sexy,_ Chrome-chan,” Gen corrected, his smirk audible.

Kohaku couldn’t help cackling to herself, knowing Chrome was definitely blushing to the roots of his hair. Honestly, she found his innocence endearing, but she would never _not_ find it funny.

“Careful, Gen, that’s talk for the grown-ups,” she shot over her shoulder, laughter in her voice. “Poor Chrome isn’t ready for that for _at least_ two more years!”

Gen hummed in agreement. “You’re right, Kohaku-chan. I didn’t mean to soil your innocent ears, Chrome-chan…”

Chrome spluttered.

“H-hey, fuck you guys!”

“It’s perfectly alright to be a prude, dear. You’re just missing out!”

“Who said I was a _prude?”_

As the boys continued to go back and forth, Kohaku adjusted Senkuu against her back and shivered a little as his cold nose pressed against her nape. His bare legs were also growing cold to the touch. He’d started to shake.

“Don’t worry, Senkuu,” she murmured to her sleeping friend with a smile, “we’re almost there.”

His arms were crossed loosely around her neck, bare for the first time she’d ever seen. She’d always figured he was hiding some badass scars underneath (why else would a man wrap cloth around his arms instead of just wearing sleeves?), but, looking now, was sadly disappointed; the only visible scars on him were the ones covering his hands, the weird zigzag ones on his face and a few little pockmarks on the insides of his elbows- pretty boring, in her opinion.

Kohaku, by comparison, was covered in them and wore them with pride. There were slashes all over her shoulders and legs from blade training, in which she would push her opponents to their absolute limits so they wouldn’t hold back, there were two stab wounds forever enshrined on her back- separate incidents, she never let someone get a hit in twice- and her hands and knees were roughened with scar tissue from her rough-and-tumble childhood and her years of hard work.

Most of the villagers were pretty scarred up, although she definitely had more than most of them; it was just their way of life- a tradition, almost.

Seeing these “modern” men with silky, unblemished skin made her soul weep; although even Senkuu had an edge on Gen in the fact that his hands were scarred to high heaven. Gen had the daintiest hands she’d ever seen. They were pleasant to the touch, she would secretly admit, but what they said about how he lived his life was what irritated her. He wasn’t one to do the dirty work.

_Although he’s better now,_ she conceded. _Nothing like Senkuu’s chore list from hell to transform a hands-off manipulator into a worker bee._

Senkuu’s hot breaths against her neck got more and more labored as they continued, and for the first time doubt started creeping in about her plan. Maybe he _wasn’t_ well enough for the journey…

Ultimately, though, she decided to trust Senkuu’s judgment on top of her own; he wouldn’t have agreed to something that would make him worse.

When they finally made it to the hot springs, she located the spot she used to draw Ruri’s healing water from and sprinted for it. She crouched down right at the water's edge and carefully began lowering Senkuu, except he didn’t wake up like she’d expected and she had to wait for Gen to come and hold onto him before letting go all the way.

It was much warmer right next to this pool, the heat lapping at her frost-touched skin pleasantly. She helped Gen maneuver Senkuu’s coat off, then showed him where to sit for Senkuu to breathe in the most steam. Senkuu still didn’t wake up, so Gen had to sit behind him and keep him upright.

Kohaku made herself comfortable a few inches away, inviting Chrome to sit beside her so they formed a semi-circle. He still seemed a bit butthurt from earlier, but his exaggerated petulance made it clear he’d be fine.

At first they said nothing, waiting impatiently for signs that the steam therapy was working.

Kohaku could feel mucus coming free in her own throat- that’s what had happened months ago, inspiring her to carry some to Ruri everyday. She’d been iffy about it at first, half tempted to dismiss the hot springs’ healing powers as crazy superstition from her grandmother- why did anyone in the village get sick, then, if they had access to a magical cure?- but just being _near_ the water for a few minutes had cleared her sinuses and thoroughly convinced her, and she’d started hauling it to her sister the very next day. She’d noticed that, if Ruri spent a few minutes with her face near the mouth of the jar, enveloped in the steam while waiting for the water to cool down enough to touch, her breaths became a bit quieter and easier. It wasn’t just the water that healed, but the steam as well.

She’d tried lugging Ruri out to the springs a few times, hoping the sheer amount of water would completely heal her, but their father forbade it and Ruri always followed the rules.

It had been the most frustrating argument they’d ever gotten into- especially in hindsight, knowing that even the small amount she could carry in her jug had been enough to help keep the illness at bay.

It could be a bit intimidating to try and put her voice into all of the science mumbo jumbo that Senkuu and Chrome- and even, to an extent, _Gen-_ were constantly spouting. She couldn’t understand any of it unless Senkuu simplified the simplest aspects for her, and even then he had a tendency to launch into long-winded explanations branching off from each other, the words getting bigger and bigger until her head started to spin.

She was a fighter and a hunter; her brain wasn’t wired for that stuff. She could offer her idea but couldn’t explain the science behind how it would work; all she could tout was her own observations and her belief in them.

So what could _she_ offer that stood up to the accumulation of 2 million years of human ingenuity?

...And yet, as it turned out, sometimes a simple observation by an inexperienced mind was more than enough.

The change started out subtle; after a few minutes Senkuu started swallowing more frequently and clearing his throat. After a few more minutes his breaths were much quieter, and he seemed to be breathing deeper.

By the twenty minute mark his breathing was inaudible.

And for the first time that day, Kohaku watched the tension leak from Chrome and Gen’s shoulders. They all shared a relieved smile, and she was proud to see the gratitude they sent her way.

She sat up tall, crossing her arms with a confident grin.

_Told ya so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My weakness besides smol, soft!Senkuu is platonic besties!Kohaku and Senkuu. Also she too is kind of a mom friend, but in a more... cavewoman-esque way. You eat more. You be strong. You survive.
> 
> I think Senkuu got all beefed up from his six month stint of being forced to do his own manual labor. And in order to maintain his health to meet those needs, he had to eat more and better, so healthier weight. But my hc is that, given the opportunity, he gives in to the old habit and goes too long without eating if he's wrapped up in something- and making a cell phone in the stone age on a time limit would certainly do that to ya.
> 
> Oh, also, I hope I didn't make Kohaku seem dumb or anything. She's very intelligent- but, like me, she's not scientifically minded. She knows the basics of illness from what she's managed to snag from Senkuu's lectures, but still can't quite grasp how it works or how it spreads. Up until recently she's gone through life brushing off things she can't explain as 'sorcery', so suddenly trying to grasp these complex realities about how the world works is probably pretty tricky.
> 
> We got a break from the mystery this chapter- but don't worry, it comes back next chapter ;)
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you next time!


	9. The only one who knows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the mystery is unraveled.

Being unconscious nearly all the time was _not_ an enjoyable experience, by far. It was pretty jarring when his last memory would be of being upright and awake, and the next thing he knew he was tucked into bed, waking up from a _long_ nap in the middle of the freaking day.

He had the feeling he’d been out of it quite a lot when he was awake; even now, as his eyes dragged open to the view of golden hair right in front of his face, it was extremely difficult to rally his thoughts and dredge up recollection of what exactly was going on.

It was cold- _much_ colder than he’d been feeling as a crappy baseline lately. There was the presence of wind where there hadn’t been any before. He was upright even though he’d just been asleep.

_Oh, right. Kohaku. Hot springs._

He groggily lifted his head, trying to gather his bearings. His vision was swimming, but he could still see the distant outlines of tall trees covered in snow. If he squinted he could bring into relative focus a figure walking in front of them, swathed in an achingly familiar purple coat.

Senkuu blinked in confusion at how dark the sky was getting- sunset was only minutes away.

_Weren’t we just heading to the hot springs?_

_...Oh._

He’d slept through it.

_Well at least I can fucking breathe for once._

It wouldn’t last long, he knew, but the temporary relief was astoundingly refreshing. He wasn’t generally one to take modern medicine for granted since he probably owed it his life several times over by now, but this took it to a whole new extreme.

He wished for a humidifier, of all things, to keep near his bed like he used to. He wished he had cough syrup and pain meds and fever reducers. He missed cold packs and electrolyte drinks and the soup his dad always made.

Most of all he missed hospitals, providing a safety net should things get out of his control.

_I really need to stop. Thinking like this does me no good._

He took inventory of his symptoms again, certain he’d done it before but forgetting what he’d concluded.

_Pounding head. Aching body. Sore throat and sinuses. Slight congestion, mostly alleviated by steam therapy. Probably still have a fever, but in this cold it’s hard to judge._

“Kohaku,” he mumbled, regretting it instantly. He’d forgotten how much it hurt to speak.

She turned her head towards him, lips twitching in a smile.

“Oh, hey, Senkuu! How are you feeling?”

He rotated his feet to try and alleviate the ache building in his ankles. It didn’t help.

“Better. Good thinking.”

Her smile grew. “I know. You guys would be lost without me.”

Senkuu chuckled a bit, closing his eyes. “Absolutely. We almost back?”

Kohaku shook her head, saying regretfully, “Not yet. We just left the hot springs now. Can you hang in there for fifteen minutes?”

_Perhaps. I should be fine as long as I don’t start shivering._

_… oh._

Scratch that, he’d been trembling this whole time.

“Can you make it ten?”

She didn’t even need to respond, simply picked up her pace to a slow run. He knew she could go faster, but with night falling she didn’t want the other two to get separated from her and lost.

They quickly overtook Gen and Chrome, whose steps quickly sped up as well.

Senkuu tried to focus his dwindling energy on controlling the quivering of his muscles. _As long as it’s not for very long, my fever shouldn’t rise._

He hadn’t even realized how tense he’d gotten in his efforts to stay still, which drew attention to the fact that he was awake.

One set of footsteps accompanied by heavy breathing sped up and moved into position beside them.

“You with us, Senkuu-chan?” Gen’s voice piped up.

Senkuu turned his head and cracked his eyes open. “Five billion percent.”

“That bad, huh?”

He shrugged, trying to pry his eyes open further and focus on Gen’s blurry form. He could make out the mismatched hair and purple coat again, as well as the black smudge on his face that was probably his scar.

“Well, don’t worry, Senkuu-chan. I think you’re on the downhill slope now.”

He was childishly tempted to say _“Don’t jinx it!”_

“Possible.”

If he really strained his eyes he could make out the vibrant blue of Gen’s, which somehow seemed to be luminous in the fading daylight.

 _His eyes are unfairly pretty,_ he thought to himself, before wondering where the hell _that_ came from.

He clenched his jaw, which quickly became sore. If he could just keep from shivering too badly…

_Then what?_

The sensation of his rational thought slowly slipping away was horrifyingly amplified when he was trying to come up with a plan of action. His thoughts weren’t just lagging anymore- they were treading into nonsense territory the longer he tried. All he could coherently string together was that he needed to get back indoors and he needed to warm up, but not too much. Anything past that refused to conform.

Memories, calculations, formulas, voices, names, faces, random sensations, the endless stream of numbers he could never turn off… they were all flying around his head, untethered to any kind of rationality. It was all so… cluttered.

Underneath it all, he could feel a sense of dread building; an odd anxiety he couldn't place. It was screwing with his head, making it even harder to think straight.

_Where is... she..._

His eyes had closed again. He forced them open.

Just in time to watch as they darted past a stationary figure.

He choked, twisting around, trying to catch sight of them again.

“Senkuu-chan?”

The person was gone.

“Senkuu-chan.”

The grip around his legs got stronger.

“Stay put, Senkuu!”

_But he was right there! I have to- I have to-_

_Stop it! It wasn’t real!_

He gave his head a forcible shake. Put his chin back on her shoulder. Felt faint.

He could see the light of torches up ahead, could make out the familiar structures of the Kingdom of Science.

He blinked.

Suddenly they were in a warmer, spacious room with a domed ceiling. Several hands were reaching for him.

“Are you awake, Senkuu?”

Startled, he jerked away from their touch and fought to wrest his legs from their grip.

“No! _Stop! Don't touch-”_

There were too many people surrounding him, touching him, grabbing him. His heart began to race and he lashed out, kicking and writhing until she couldn’t hold him anymore. Then he was sprawled on the ground, body still pulsing with pain from the impact, but he didn’t care, he scrambled backwards as far as he could go, until his back hit the wall, then he looked for an exit but couldn’t see one _oh god what are they gonna do to me-_

“Senkuu! Are you okay?”

“What’s wrong?”

There were three of them. Two towered over him while the third kept their distance. He shrank away, curling up to be as small a target as possible.

“Where am I? What do you _want?”_ he demanded, his raw throat in agony.

The frigid air seemed to get colder and colder. He hid his shivers by fisting his hands in his coat.

The people above him looked stricken, although it was hard to make out the details of their faces by the flickering light of the candle. The man was frowning. The woman’s face was partially covered by a mask and he didn’t like that.

 _Wait, is she a nurse?_ he thought suddenly, then realized he wasn’t wearing pants but some sort of gown. _Am I in the hospital again?_

He certainly _felt_ sick.

But what kind of hospital room was this?

The woman tried to reach for him again and he couldn’t stop himself from violently flinching, pushing back against the wall as though it would give way. Something about this was all wrong.

“Senkuu, we’re your friends,” the man with the spiky hair insisted.

“N-no, my friends _left!”_

He froze.

_I’m in the hospital. Taiju and Yuzuriha just left._

_… where’s Kyurii?_

Senkuu had no time to react when the third person was suddenly sitting right beside him- he hadn’t even heard him approach!

The person raised a hand to the other two, warding them off with a flat palm.

_Is he… helping me?_

Senkuu stared at this stranger with the vibrant eyes and hidden mouth. He was so familiar…

“Chrome-chan, Kohaku-chan, back up, please,” the stranger said smoothly, as though everything wasn’t a confusing disaster that was falling apart around them.

The man and woman shared a look before begrudgingly taking a few steps back and sitting on the ground.

_That voice… I know that voice!_

“Asagiri Gen,” Senkuu murmured in shock. “What the hell are _you_ doing here?”

_You look different. Your hair..._

Gen faced him and closed his eyes and Senkuu could guess he was smiling under his mask. 

“Visiting you, Senkuu-chan! Remember?”

_Why is this fraud of a celebrity talking to me so familiarly?_

_Are we… friends? Did I forget?_

_...Oh. I did._

Senkuu’s shoulders sagged with relief and he inched closer to his friend, shooting the nurses a wary look. His hair must've come undone again, because it fell in his face as he moved and he had to tuck it behind his ears just to see. 

“I think I got sick again,” he admitted, “but I don’t remember being brought here and I don’t recognize the nurses…”

“Do you get this sick often?” 

Gen spoke so casually, as though it was just another ordinary day. Whether he wanted to or not, Senkuu found it comforting. The fear started to recede.

He shrugged, folding in on himself some more. What kind of hospital let their patients get this cold? 

“Sometimes. My immune system doesn’t do one millimeter of good against respiratory infections.”

Gen made a sympathetic sound. “That ucks-say.”

Senkuu shrugged again. “I can deal. No use moping about it.”

_Except… I can breathe. I’m freezing and my throat hurts and my body is aching, but I can breathe…_

_What am I here for?_

He remembered, suddenly, the blood. The puking, the pain, the _blood_. Kyurii crying. The cold, the dizziness, the _pain,_ the _blood…_

He looked around the room again, searching for her. She should have been right beside him…

Of their own accord, his arms came up to wrap around him. He could feel through them that he was beginning to hyperventilate, ribs straining against the constriction. A strange numbness washed over him as he realized his Kyurii was nowhere to be found.

“Senkuu-chan?” Gen asked, sounding concerned.

_He could know!_

“Mentalist!” Senkuu exclaimed, turning to him fully. “Have you seen Kyurii?”

Gen’s eyes widened just a bit before he closed them again, waving his hand dismissively. “Oh, no, I haven’t… I don’t think she’s here right now! But that’s okay, I’m sure she’ll come back later.”

_Why are you acting like that?_

_What are you hiding from me?_

Senkuu turned desperately to the nurses, who were watching silently, seeming oddly unsure of themselves.

“Nurse! Where is she? Did you take her?”

“What’s a 'nurse'?” the man asked. The woman nodded, brows furrowed quizzically.

Senkuu’s stomach dropped in alarm. _Who are these people?_

“Someone who takes care of someone else,” Gen supplied, voice a little tense.

“Oh! Was he talking to me?” the blonde asked. “Sorry, Senkuu, I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Was this some kind of game? Were they toying with him?

_She was right here! There’s no way they didn’t see her… they must have done something to her!_

“What do you _want?”_ he roared. “Why did you take her?”

His shivers grew worse.

His vision was swimming.

“We didn’t!” the man protested, sounding frantic.

“Then **_where is she?”_**  
\--

This was getting out of hand. Gen knew he needed to act- playing along hadn’t had the effect he’d hoped for.

He cautiously placed a hand on Senkuu’s shoulder, trying not to be bothered by how intensely it trembled.

 _“Listen to me,_ Senkuu-chan,” he said sternly. “Kyurii-chan isn’t here right now. No one did anything to her. She just isn’t here. You’re the only one who knows what happened to her.”

He knew his words had hit home; Senkuu’s pupils constricted and he made a horrified sound.

“N-no, I... I...”

Face crumpling, Senkuu grabbed at his own hair, pulling on it desperately with a pained cry.

_Aaannd it just gets worse._

Gen closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around his friend, grabbing him by the wrists and slowly prying his hands away.

“Hush now, Senkuu-chan. Everything is okay. You’re very sick. We’re taking care of you.”

Slowly he felt those taut muscles relax, and he pulled Senkuu's arms back down to wrap around himself, covering them with his own.

Senkuu went quiet for a few minutes, staring at the wall with a blank expression on his face- aside from the intensity of his gaze, the haunted look lying therein. His breaths started to slow down, but he stayed rather tense.

Curled up in a ball, wrapped in Gen's arms, shaking and distraught... Senkuu had never looked so _small._

When it seemed like the episode might be over, Chrome whispered, “He... he blames himself. The other night he kept saying he was supposed to protect her, but he lost her. Whoever she is.” 

The younger boy looked so troubled. His face was drained of all color.

Gen hummed, thumbs rubbing at Senkuu’s hands soothingly.

_I think I’m starting to understand, Senkuu-chan._

“I’m better now,” Senkuu said quietly, drawing their attention again. “You fixed me up. I feel better now, so you can bring her back…”

“We can’t do that, Senkuu-chan.”

He would be lying if he said the tears that welled up in Senkuu’s eyes didn’t shake him. That and the way his voice warbled as he said, “Please… She’s all I have left. I have to… I have to protect her… _Please_ bring her back...”

Hearing Senkuu _begging_ for something was not nearly as lovely as Gen had once imagined it would be. Instead it cracked his heart right down the middle.

_I need to say something. I can’t bear it._

Externally calm, Gen leaned his head down close to his friend’s. 

Senkuu was still staring at the wall, face flat besides his wide, watery eyes. He looked like he was in shock.

_Please don't let me be right about this..._

“Senkuu-chan...” Gen asked gently, “... Is Kyurii your daughter?”


	10. No matter what it takes

Gen was pretty certain he knew the answer to his question already, but when Senkuu nodded, tears spilling over, it sent a small shockwave through him anyway.

 _“What?”_ Chrome croaked under his breath.

Kohaku’s fists clenched.

“I thought so,” Gen said with a soft, bittersweet smile. “Kyurii is a very unique name. Would that happen to be inspired by that female scientist?”

“Marie Curie,” Senkuu said quietly.

Gen nodded. With the little fake cheer as he could muster, he said, “I thought it sounded familiar! That’s how I knew. That’s a name _you_ would give.”

Well… it had narrowed down the most likely options to either pet or child, but the way Senkuu had been acting and speaking about her made it clear.

Kohaku crawled closer, sitting right up against Senkuu’s folded legs. With more care than Gen would have guessed her capable of, she gently pulled one of Senkuu’s hands free and held it in both of hers.

“How old is she?” she asked kindly.

_A good question._

Gen’s personal guess would be that Kyurii was a baby or possibly a toddler- not much older, though. Senkuu was young.

He had to fight hard not to react outwardly when Senkuu shakily whispered, “Twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes.”

_Fuck. No wonder he’s so inconsolable- she’s as vulnerable as it gets._

“I didn’t even have her more than a day. And I _lost_ her,” Senkuu continued through gritted teeth.

Gen pulled him closer to his side, pity making his chest ache.

“What happened, Senkuu-chan?”

Senkuu pulled his arms free and braced the heels of his hands against his temples in a universal signal of distress. He propped his elbows on his knees and his hair fell like curtains to hide his face.

A bitter laugh escaped him. “Fucking petrification is what happened. She was _in my arms._ Taiju and Yuzuriha were visiting.” He let out a shaky breath. “I broke free. I found them. I didn’t find Kyurii.”

Gen had guessed as much- but that was better than the alternative for _losing_ a baby. She was still out there. There was still hope.

And maybe that’s what was bothering him the most about this entire scenario- Senkuu had every right to be distraught. Being the father of a lost child must have been devastating, especially of a child so young and small. As a newborn she was probably smaller than the length of his arm, and she was petrified and lost _somewhere_ in this huge expanse of the world.

She could be buried, or at the bottom of a lake, or in a cave somewhere… tiny enough to be carried away by just a little bit of flowing water.

Senkuu had no doubt thought of every possibility of what had happened to his daughter- he knew the odds of finding her. Gen was also certain Senkuu had spent as much time as he could searching for her; the fact that he hadn’t located her after all those months wasn’t heartening.

And then Shishio Tsukasa came along. And Senkuu was forced to give one last look to the place where his baby was likely hidden and then turn around and _walk away._

He had every reason to be distraught- but there was more hiding in his words and his body language. Self-loathing. Pain. Despair. Depression.

Mourning.

Maybe other parents, when faced with a child to find, all of Japan to search, and an enemy warding off all attempts to search the most likely place, would try and try until the hopelessness set in and it became ‘impossible’.

_But not you, Senkuu-chan._

That was what bothered him. He _knew_ Senkuu. To the extent that was humanly possible, he knew how his mind worked.

Senkuu didn’t ‘mope about it’. He didn’t wallow in despair. Even when all hope seemed to be lost, he was right there at the forefront, charging onwards. Refusing to accept defeat. Creating impossible solutions that _somehow_ worked. Thinking of new strategies that _somehow_ saved the day. Building the tools he needed to ensure victory. He still had emotions, but he didn’t sit still long enough to let them build up around him and box him in.

He had unwavering confidence in his own ability to make a better ending, as well as confidence in his friends to fill in where he lacked.

He had every tool he needed to succeed at his disposal- he just needed more time to see it through.

It hadn’t escaped Gen's notice how much more cognizant Senkuu was growing as the minutes ticked by. How aware he seemed to be now, how clear and relevant his responses were. He might not have been all there, but at least part of him was.

And yet he still mourned.

Gen’s gut instinct knew, deep down, that these feelings weren’t fabricated by the fever. They’d been buried, probably for a long time, roiling and ugly. And the fever had brought them to light.

There was always this spark in Senkuu’s eyes- depending on the scenario, Gen had interpreted it as different things: intelligence, confidence, enthusiasm, mirth, defiance… Maybe it was all of those, or maybe it was something else entirely- but that spark was what made him _Senkuu,_ Gen had no doubt. It was what made him lively and determined and confident.

And it was missing now.

The look in Senkuu’s eyes as he cried over his missing child was haunting because they were completely dulled. Dead.

As though he’d given in.

As though there was no hope left.

That was a factual untruth and Gen would not stand for it.

“So have you given up, Senkuu-chan?”

He asked it gently, almost casually. Sometimes people needed to hear in plain words what they were doing to even realize they were doing it.

The reaction he received was more than he’d been hoping for.

Senkuu’s head whipped to the side, fixing Gen with a stare and revealing his face. His expression was a mixture of anger and disbelief, his brows furrowed and mouth sharply downturned.

His eyes were absolutely _ablaze._

“ _Never._ I _will_ find her- no matter what it takes.”

And Gen smiled.

_There you are._

Chrome, who had been in quiet shock in the background, seemed to come back to himself. He darted forward, kneeling beside Senkuu and brandishing his fist in determination.

“Hell yeah! We’ll help you find her, Senkuu! Ten billion percent!”

Kohaku nodded, crossing her arm with Chrome’s in some sort of pact. “No matter how long it takes.”

 _How lucky you are to have friends like them, Senkuu-chan,_ Gen thought warmly, extending his free arm toward Senkuu, whose eyes had gone wide.

“I already promised you we would find her together,” he said. “So we will.”

_There’s still hope. I won’t let you forget that._

Senkuu’s gaze drifted over all of them as if he couldn’t quite believe all three of them- and, by extension, so many more- would be willing to do so much for him.

Finally his shocked expression gave way to something soft, his lips trembling just the slightest bit as they turned up at the corners. His arm crossed over Gen’s, and that small smile grew into his trademark smirk.

“Damn right we will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But wait! There's more! There's one last twist up my sleeve that may not even be that much of a surprise, given Chapter 6. 
> 
> Thanks for the support, as always! 
> 
> Answers to most of your questions will be next chapter :)


	11. Two very different things

Senkuu was still weak, but having him mentally intact enough to at least try and help their efforts was a nice change. They got him bundled under his blanket, warmed him back up, and took off his coat.

He quickly fell asleep, the episode taking its toll, and Gen took up first watch while Chrome and Kohaku (who had no choice but to stay in quarantine, and was quite smug about it) got some rest.

In those hours Gen mulled over everything he’d learned, sorting the information carefully into his mental files.

He did not give his personal feelings an audience- they could wait.

In the wee hours of the morning Senkuu woke up, hungry for the first time in days. It soothed some deep anxiety of Gen’s to see him eat some soup, even if it was cold, and be able to keep it down. He also drank plenty of water of his own accord.

Another promising development was that Senkuu stayed awake after eating, and they passed the time by talking like they had so many nights before.

The scientist’s face was still flushed with fever, Gen noticed in the better lighting. He’d felt for his temperature and found it to be higher than before, so Senkuu now had to sit with his elbow propped on his knee, hand to his forehead, holding the cold cloth in place. Gen tried not to be too worried about this development, taking Senkuu being upright and talking to him as proof that for now, at least, he was okay.

“Fever spike,” Senkuu explained drowsily. “Happens sometimes. Probably doesn’t help that I was shivering for so long- its purpose is to create heat by expending energy and it can make fevers rise.”

He was lucid enough to get back to the scientific mumbo jumbo, but was having occasional problems remembering things or fully understanding what Gen had said. It was a jarring combination. Sometimes Gen could almost forget something was wrong with his head- and then Senkuu would give him a blank stare in response to a question or detail and all he could do was wave it off as something unimportant anyway.

_This had better not be permanent._

Gen was having a hard time reading him because of this mental discrepancy; he wasn’t completely there, but acted like he was- almost to an offputting degree. Everything had been so serious before, but now it was like nothing had ever happened; his sharklike grin had made a few appearances and his usual cockiness, while muted, kept shining through as well. Like it was any other night and they were just shooting the breeze.

Gen had no idea how much of this Senkuu would remember, how much he remembered of what he’d just spilled to them, if he even fully understood what had happened tonight…

And so he was trying to avoid asking more questions about Kyurii- if Senkuu wasn’t in the right state of mind to keep to himself what he wanted to, Gen didn’t want to take advantage. He’d probably already made him share too much by asking all of that stuff earlier, but in the moment he’d judged it to be the only way to break through the delirium- not only that, but knowing Kyurii was Senkuu’s child would make it easier to calm him down if he had any more episodes about her in the future. There was no purpose to asking anything more besides personal curiosity.

… Still, they were _burning_ questions.

Testing the waters, Gen asked, “Senkuu-chan, do you remember what we were talking about earlier?”

Senkuu blinked, pausing in his explanation that had mostly turned into a ramble anyway.

“Eh?”

Before Gen could dismiss it as unimportant, Senkuu huffed through his nose. “Oh, you mean the part where I bawled my eyes out and bared my soul.”

Gen chuckled nervously. “Y-yes. I think you were still delusional, though, if that’s any consolation.”

“True,” Senkuu agreed, rubbing at his half-lidded eyes. “Not completely, though.”

“How so?”

“Well, I don’t have one millimeter of a problem with you guys knowing about her, so that wasn't the delusion talking. Hell, if you’d asked me before all of this I would have told you- just with less theatrics. The crying was ten billion percent because of the fever.”

 _Yeah, right._ Gen knew what he’d seen.

He wasn’t going to push it, though.

“So why _didn’t_ you explain sooner?”

Senkuu shrugged. “I think the main delusion I was under was that you already knew who she is.”

“No, I mean before you got sick.”

“Ah.”

He didn’t answer beyond that, gaze going a bit distant.

Gen tucked his hands into his sleeves, sighing. “You didn’t tell anyone at first because she’s still out there and could be used against you by our favorite primate highschooler. Once you trusted all of us you still didn’t say anything because it wouldn’t do you any logical good to tell stories when there’s nothing you can do about it until after this whole war thing is sorted out. When you got sick and let something slip, you weren’t averse to us knowing, but in your dazed state you didn’t realize that we didn’t already ow-knay. Do I have that right, Senkuu-chan?”

Senkuu huffed again, pulling his blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Ten billion points to the mentalist.”

Pausing the conversation for a moment, Gen leaned over and pressed the back of his hand to Senkuu’s neck. Still too hot.

The scientist pulled away.

“It won’t go down for a while.”

He dipped the rag in the cold water and wrung it out with weak hands before putting it back into place.

“It’s been too long as it is- forgive me for being impatient,” Gen retorted, resuming his earlier position.

It was odd how much he missed moments like this. It had only been three days but it felt like a millenium.

Senkuu fixed a bleary eye on him.

“Anyway, you have questions.”

Gen sighed. No use denying it.

“Yes, I do.”

Seeming to sense his reluctance to ask about such a sensitive topic, Senkuu stuck his pinky in his ear and dug around. “You already know the worst of it. You’re not gonna offend me,” he said, nonplussed.

_I see what you’re doing, Scientist._

The mentalist’s shoulders sagged a little.

_Fine. If he’s that insistent that he’s back to normal, I’ll ask._

“How exactly did you come to have a child at sixteen?”

That was what surprised him the most- Senkuu could be completely reckless, but he always had his intelligence to back up his reckless choices. Gen just… couldn’t imagine him making that kind of mistake.

Senkuu cracked a self-deprecating smile.

“Well… I was fifteen,” he began, looking at the ground, “and _experimenting._ And of course, because I was fifteen and dumb, it was completely unprofessional and lacked proper care and research. I wanted to test out my tolerance for alcohol, but Byakuya refused to buy me any.” He chuckled to himself, hand rubbing at his eyes again. “So, in my fervor, I had no qualms about going to the one place I could find that had enough to suit my purposes- I let one of the upperclassmen in the science club take me to a party.”

“Oh no,” Gen groaned sympathetically, and Senkuu chuckled again.

“Maybe you can see where this is going. It started out like my usual experiments- I had a chart ready to be filled in and explicit instructions for my lab assistant to keep track of everything for me. The plan was to see how much alcohol it took to make it impossible for me to solve some equations, and once that point was reached it would be shut down and my assistant would take me home.

“Everything was going to plan- except that my faithful assistant decided to partake as well and ended up wandering off before a conclusion could be reached. By that point my judgment was already impaired and I ended up drinking way more than intended. I don’t remember much after that, but I woke up sprawled on a stranger.” 

The way he spoke was rather lighthearted, content matter considered. It didn't seem to occur to him that he could have been taken advantage of. Gen wondered what the conversation after that must have been like- he wondered what the relationship became. Who was this 'stranger'? How old was she? Did _she_ know better?

Gen also couldn’t help his surprise. Even if the explanation shed more light on why someone as near-omniscient as Senkuu could somehow make that huge of a mistake, it still felt strange to imagine him putting himself in that situation to begin with.

“That sounds oddly… _immature_ of you, Senkuu-chan,” he settled for saying. “Surely you knew the risks of drinking so much in that kind of environment.”

_Not that I’m one to talk…_

He fought back the memories of his own wild partying days with a shudder. There was a reason he’d been banned from so many nightclubs...

Senkuu shrugged, dipping the cloth in the bowl again. “Of course I did. But the temptation was stronger than my rationality. Again, I was fifteen and a colossal dumbass.”

“ _You?_ I find that hard to believe. Weren’t you balancing chemical equations by the time you reached preschool?”

He looked at Gen with a raised brow. “Well, middle school, yeah. But intelligence and common sense are two _very_ different things, as I found out the hard way. I was a totally different person and made plenty of dumb decisions when I was younger; it was only after that whole debacle that I started to finally figure myself out. Trial and error.”

Gen’s face flushed as he realized his mistake. It was rather shallow to assume intelligent people were _always_ smart about things- hell, Senkuu _still_ had dumbass moments from time to time. The most recent example- involving a large bees’ nest, a dead fish, and bellows- still made Ginrou cry any time it was mentioned.

It could be easy to forget Senkuu was a teenage boy; he was so overwhelming in every aspect, always reliably able to come up with solutions and ideas and answers, that it wasn't hard to look at him as some sort of machine that knew no logistical error.

But he was only human- and a young one at that.

“That’s very profound, Senkuu-chan.”

Senkuu cocked his head slightly, tired eyes blazing with amusement. He had curled up further into the blanket.

“Don’t get used to it- profound is just another word for sappy.”

Hearing how raspy his friend’s voice was becoming, Gen grabbed the cup and refilled it, handing it over with a pointed stare. Senkuu drank without protest, and Gen put his hand to Senkuu’s neck again.

“You’re still about the same.”

Senkuu set the cup down with a sigh, clearing his throat. “As long as it doesn’t go up, I’ll be fine.”

Gen didn’t quite believe that, but wasn’t going to argue for now. Not enough time had passed for him to be justified in freaking out over a steady temperature.

A lull fell over them until Gen realized Senkuu was waiting for more questions.

The one that Gen had truly been wanting the answer to was right on the tip of his tongue- he’d been dying to ask but knew it required some tact.

“So you said that Kyurii-chan is about one day old, right?”

“Yes.”

Gen was watching him carefully when he’d asked, especially his eyes- he saw a flash of sadness, but it was quickly gone.

“You also said Taiju and Yuzuriha-chan were ‘visiting’ at the time of petrification, and that and her age would make me believe you were still at the hospital when it happened, right?”

“Yeah.”

But before Gen could continue, could launch into the matter of what exactly had happened to Kyurii’s mysteriously unmentioned mother, Senkuu casually carried on, rolling his head around in a stretch and grimacing.

“It was _such_ a pain in the ass- the nurses on that shift were brutal. Kazue kept scolding me about my weight and Sakura wouldn't stop harassing me about moving around too much. Then she almost pulled the catheter out of my arm when she was taking Kyurii from me,” he grumbled.

Gen’s train of thought skidded to a halt and he abandoned his question to pursue another.

“Wait, there was a catheter in your arm? Why were _you_ on an IV?”

Senkuu gave him a thoroughly confused look, thrown off by the sudden interrogation.

“I needed fluids- standard hospital procedure. Although the one she pulled on might have been for the blood transfusion I ended up needing." He gestured vaguely. "It was all kind of a blur.”

“Why did you need a _blood transfusion?”_

Gen's pulse had picked up and for some reason his brain was short-circuiting.

Senkuu saw the slack-jawed look Gen was giving him, heard the stilted way his question had stumbled out of his mouth, and seemed to come to a realization.

His eyes widened and he came alive, sickness and tiredness temporarily melting away.

“Holy shit,” he exclaimed quietly, then laughed like Gen had never heard before- the laugh of someone who was torn between humor and disbelief and hysteria. Acting like another person entirely, he dropped his hand from his forehead to cover his huge, teary-eyed grin. Gen had completely caught him off guard. “Did you _not know,_ Mentalist?”

Gen absolutely knew where this was going, but shock had his mind in a vice grip and all he could do was repeat his question: “Why did you need a blood transfusion?”

Senkuu wiped at his eyes and calmed down, but a small smile stayed on his face- the one he gave when things got tense and he was trying to hide his stress. He propped his chin on his hand, eyes boring into Gen's. The mentalist's heart skipped a beat.

“Postpartum hemorrhage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HC: Senkuu is extremely smart but also a dingus. And I don't care how high your IQ is- no amount of intelligence can save you from embarrassing, dumbass teenage years. It's something all of society can look back on in unity and cringe at.
> 
> Ten billion points to the people who guessed this was where I was going with all of this! Also: is this the most long-winded, most obscure way ever to set the stage for a possible future beakers-and-nightshade lovechild? Probably. Believe it or not, that's the concept I STARTED with. I'm not entirely sure how I got all of this from that starting point- it was kind of a blur- but I have to say, I'm quite proud of it <3 
> 
> There are still questions, I know. More answers to come next chapter!


	12. He hesitated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Konbanwa! For those of you who read old chapters 12 and 13 and are now confused, I came up with a better idea of how I wanted this story arc to go, so I'm trying it out. Please let me know what you think of the changes, and to my new readers, let me know what you think overall! :)

It was obvious the mentalist had no idea how to react; his expression was frozen into something akin to shock, eyes blown wide. It was easy to see that, up until ten seconds prior, he’d had no idea what Senkuu truly was.

_He probably still doesn’t._

If he hadn’t recognized Senkuu after all, that meant the truth likely wasn’t even on his mind.

His thought process was simple enough to deduce: _postpartum hemorrhage equals childbirth equals birth-giving parent._ He wasn’t wrong, but Senkuu could tell that this information was bringing his friend to the wrong conclusion- could see it in the way Gen’s eyes broke free of the stillness and darted, firstly, to Senkuu’s chest. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it, but it made a chuckle bubble up in Senkuu’s throat regardless- one that felt a lot more like poorly-hidden hysteria than the scientist felt comfortable with.

The quiet laughter irritated his lungs and he coughed, hiding a wince at the pain that shot through his thoracic cavity.

Gen jumped a little at the sudden sound, eyes coming back into intelligent focus.

“You gave birth to her.”

It wasn’t a question, but Senkuu hadn’t been expecting one. It was too obvious for Gen to have any lingering doubts about that.

“I did,” he rasped, taking a sip of water. “By far the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, for the record. Getting KO’d by Tsukasa was barely a blip on the radar in comparison.”

“Ikes-yay.”

He could tell Gen was having a hard time figuring out how to say what he wanted to say- how to ask his obvious question.

His first assumption, naturally, was that Senkuu was biologically female. It could explain everything and was statistically most likely. Gen’s roving gaze was trying to glean the information to support this conclusion, darting from Senkuu’s eyes to his lips, from his lips to his chest again, from his chest to his shoulders, from his shoulders back to his eyes.

Trying to find any clues that he could have noticed before.

He would find some, Senkuu was sure. It wasn’t news to him that some of his features were effeminate; from childhood he’d had a sort of androgyny about him that should have made the _actual_ truth less shocking. Hell, six-year-old Taiju had thought he was a girl for a week before they officially met.

But Senkuu wasn’t born in the wrong body.

His body was just capable of a lot more than it seemed.

“What did you-” Gen started, but Senkuu could tell it was an empty attempt to keep the conversation going while he continued to grapple with how to phrase his true question. Senkuu ignored it, grappling with something as well.

_Do I let him think I’m not a freak of nature?_

But of course he knew the answer to that. It was a stupid question.

He coughed and pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. As the rush of adrenaline faded away, it left behind the same miserable ache he’d been dealing with for days. His muscles twinged in discomfort as he moved.

The tiredness was coming back too. Senkuu’s eyelids were heavy when he cocked his head and said, “Have you heard of carriers, Mentalist?”

And _boom._ There it was: Gen’s face smoothed with sudden understanding.

“I ave-hay,” he said smoothly, casually, as if this was any other conversation late into the night. “They’re very rare.”

The mentalist was hard to get a read on, but there was no malice or disgust that the scientist could detect.

Senkuu’s bleary eyes flitted over to Kohaku and Chrome, watching their sides rise and fall slowly with their sleeping breaths. Completely fake, of course, but he had to commend their acting skills. Kohaku had been woken up by their voices at the very beginning and he’d seen her sneakily kick at Chrome’s foot to wake him as well. He hadn't minded them listening in; it saved him the work of explaining everything a second time.

With this kind of information, though, he hesitated to be blunt.

Gen, like most modern humans, knew what carriers were, but Senkuu hadn’t yet been able to determine if the village had ever encountered such a concept before. It was highly unlikely that they had, though, with it being such a rare natural occurrence, which meant it was also highly unlikely they’d be receptive to such a massively _different_ concept- at first, at least.

He wondered if it was a good idea to explain aloud what being a carrier meant. He didn’t mind them knowing, and knew his friends would at least eventually come to be accepting, but considering he was about ten milliseconds from falling over he truly didn’t feel like dealing with them freaking out.

He’d spaced out. Coming back to his senses, Senkuu nodded. It made his head pound.

“Yup- they make up less than .000001% of the world’s population,” he confirmed.

Some exasperation leaked into Gen’s tone as he asked, “And yet you expected me to be able to tell you were one?”

Senkuu leaned his forehead against his palm, trying to quell the growing ache.

Breathing was steadily getting harder.

When he spoke, his voice was gruff and his raw throat twinged.

“Not my fault you acted like you could. I thought you’d recognized me.”

The temperature in the room had been subtly dropping for a while, but in that moment it seemed to come to a head. It was _freezing._ He shuddered, curling into himself.

Gen asked something. Senkuu wasn’t sure what it was, because all he could do was stare at the floor to the left of his friend, a painful blankness taking over his mind. He felt dizzy. He was pretty sure his eyes had drifted upwards and were trying to roll back.

A hand came to rest on his shoulder just as he started to keel, keeping him from falling over.

“Hey, Senkuu-chan! Are you okay?”

Snapping out of it, Senkuu shook his head and regained his balance. His head was in agony. “I’m fine. Repeat the question.”

He didn’t have to look at Gen’s face to know he was displeased. The grip on his shoulder tightened and he wanted to shrug it off, but he was still a bit woozy and movement seemed like a bad idea.

“You’re shivering again, Senkuu-chan.”

A cold hand pressed against his forehead.

“I think it’s gone up,” Gen said solemnly. “What do I need to do?”

His white hair was hanging in his face, framing it and his intent eyes with shadow. It was distracting.

“Senkuu-chan!” he prompted when Senkuu offered no reply, giving him a little shake.

Startled back into focus, Senkuu slammed his eyes shut and forced himself to think.

_There aren’t many immediate options left… And of course they’re all unpleasant._

_But if it’s having such drastic effects and continuing to rise, it’s likely already dangerously high. I don’t have a choice anymore._

Sighing woefully, he clenched his jaw and, before he could lose his nerve, flung the blanket back from his shoulders. The cold immediately assaulted him, making him shiver uncontrollably, and he couldn’t help the shaky, pitiful sound that escaped him.

Gen had moved closer, hands hovering near Senkuu as though he wasn’t sure what to do with them. “Won’t the shivering make it orse-way?”

“Quite likely.”

That wasn’t the end of his plan, though. The next step just required a lot of psyching-up before he could go through with it- for multiple reasons.

His trembling, uncoordinated fingers fumbled with the clasps of his tunic, but as the cold continued to barrage him from all sides he was quickly losing fine motor control. He made a frustrated sound.

His hands were brushed aside and suddenly the mentalist was undoing the clasps.

 _He’s enjoying this way too much,_ Senkuu thought with half-hearted exasperation. Gen hadn’t hesitated.

Still, the relatively innocent action brought his heart into his throat. Not only was Gen inches away, but he was moments away from seeing what Senkuu wasn’t sure he wanted any of them to see- and the close proximity only made that more unnerving. Even in the flickering light, at this distance the mentalist would be able to see everything.

His body had locked up and he was unable to move, although he couldn’t tell if it was caused by illogical nervousness or the intense cold.

“The belt too?” Gen asked once he’d completed the task, hands hovering again instead of maintaining contact. Of course he could tell Senkuu was uncomfortable.

Senkuu nodded jerkily, arms crossing over his chest and head ducking.

He watched through half-lidded eyes as those deft hands made quick work of the knot. He was getting dizzy again.

This would be the first time he’d bared his torso in front of someone else since he’d been depetrified; the first time since his earliest years that it was anyone other than Byakuya or Taiju to see it. Only ever around his dad and his best friend would he willingly go without a shirt, and even then those times were limited.

Besides that, no one saw him in less than one full layer of clothing.

It wasn’t psychological trauma, he was certain. He’d been too young to truly remember anything, and the things he did remember had already been analyzed, categorized, and filed away. They couldn’t hurt him anymore- he refused to let them.

No, it wasn’t trauma that had shaped him into a hyper-modest prude.

He was just cautious, and reasonably so.

All it took was one wrong person seeing him and his troubles from long ago would be back in business- and this time he had his daughter to protect as well. Kyurii would be of special interest to them- she was what they’d been eagerly awaiting. If news of her existence reached the wrong people...

 _But the wrong people are currently made of stone and far, far away,_ he reminded himself. _Gen seeing won’t make one millimeter of a difference._

The mentalist was studying his face carefully, having moved back a bit to give him space. His tunic was hanging open just slightly and all that was left was for him to pull it down and off like he had the blanket.

“I can look away, Senkuu-chan,” Gen offered when several seconds passed and Senkuu still couldn’t work up the nerve to do it.

But Senkuu shook his head, irritated at himself as he realized that maybe it wasn’t just him being cautious after all. He had no logical reason to hesitate right now, in as safe an environment as he was ever going to get.

Had he been acting strictly on rationality he wouldn’t have paused at all.

With this realization came a new kind of resolve. To spit in the face of the trauma he refused to give any more power, he braced himself and reached his sore arms up, yanking the deerskin from his shoulders and down his back, pulling his arms from the sleeves. With the tunic pooled at his waist, he brought the blanket back up and draped it around himself, trying to get his trembling body back under control.

He was aware that Gen had had plenty of time to study his bare body before he covered up, and he knew Gen had done just that. He was also hyperaware of the strip of his skin that was still visible; the blanket was a bit small and without his tunic as a secondary barrier he was feeling the breeze through that opening with agonizing clarity.

The tattoo was hidden again, but he knew the slim line of his scar- now likely turned purple from the cold- was peeking through.

He forced himself to make eye contact with the mentalist and was pleasantly surprised that Gen wasn’t nearly as alarmed as he’d predicted. He didn’t remember much of his earliest years, but one thing that had always stayed with him was his old man’s reaction to seeing the marks for the first time. The horror he couldn’t hide, the way his fists clenched around the soft bath towel he was holding, how choked his voice sounded as he promised his new son that he was safe now, that they would _never_ lay their hands on him again.

(Forced to grow up at fifteen, pregnant with a baby he was statistically likely to lose, a part of Senkuu that refused to mature had desperately longed to tell his dad the truth just so he could hear those comforting words again, just so he could be reassured that he and this unfortunate child were safe after all.)

Gen’s blue eyes shone with _something_ that wasn’t good and he seemed a bit stiffer than before, but he wasn’t staring and when he spoke, breaking the silence, his voice was easy.

“I have a very important question, Senkuu-chan.”

And then his finger was reaching out, aimed right at that slit in the blanket that put a sizeable section of that neat, thin scar on display, and Senkuu didn’t pull away but it took way too much effort to stay calm as it got closer and closer, his lip pulling back just a bit in what he hoped looked like a smirk-

He jerked away from that horrifically cold digit as it poked none-too-gently at his abs, several inches above the scar.

“How the _fuck_ are you ripped?”

And, riddled with haze and illness, Senkuu’s brain wasn’t sure how exactly to respond to that. He’d been expecting questions. Outrage. Disgust. The revisiting of the more… _eventful_ points of his life.

Gen’s countenance was light again. Whatever his initial reaction had been, it was tucked away to be revisited another day. He knew the complexity of what had been partially revealed to him, he knew Senkuu was barely hanging on to rational thought, and even though he was obviously brimming with questions he wasn’t going to press it for now.

Something welled up in Senkuu’s chest and he fought it down, only it escaped anyway and it turned out to be another laugh, one that melted the tension from his body- even the tension that had stayed with him after telling Gen the truth about what he was.

Gen had learned a lot about Senkuu in the past day. Most of it was sheer insanity that only freakishly empathetic people like Byakuya and Taiju and Yuzuriha could know and not be put off by- and that wasn’t even all of it.

Senkuu was a chaotic mess, his past even more so, his future promising to be.

He wouldn’t have blamed Gen if he didn’t take well to all of this.

But their eyes met and Gen’s crinkled with genuine mirth and that affection he reserved for Senkuu was still there in the forefront, shining brightly, and Senkuu was overwhelmed with emotions he didn’t recognize. They made him feel lighter. He could feel his lips twitching upwards.

_I rather like you, Mentalist._

Gripped by playfulness, he smirked even as his head swam and his lungs remained tight and every inch of him ached. He knew he wasn’t himself, knew this giddiness was the result of a dangerously high fever messing with his head, but for now he didn’t care. It was better than he’d felt in days.

He launched into a hoarse retelling of his days before Taiju was depetrified, explaining his hard work and extraordinary feats with as much detail as his boiling brain could dredge up. Once the shivering stopped he took the cold cloth and held it to his head again, occasionally using it to gesticulate with. Gen listened with rapt attention, commenting afterwards that he could understand working off his postpartum appearance, but that still didn’t explain how the weakest human being he’d ever met could be so muscular.

“What, you jealous?” Senkuu teased, grabbing the cup of water and taking a swig.

Gen replied as he placed the back of his hand on the scientist’s neck. “Are you kidding? Have you _seen_ me? I’m literal erfection-pay.” Dropping his hand, he said more seriously, “I don’t think it’s gone up anymore, but it’s hard to tell small changes so it still could have.”

Senkuu sleepily moved ‘thermometer’ higher up on his list of things to make.

“If it noticeably goes up anymore I’ll have to sit in lukewarm water.” Aka: _the_ most unpleasant thing to do when fevered, short of laying in a snowbank.

_Speaking of unpleasant…_

He was exhausted to his core, even if that wasn’t exactly a new development. He was severely ill with the superflu from hell- his body needed all the rest it could get. Sleep was necessary, even if it felt like he was spending days in a comatose state.

But there was a reason he fought against it whenever he could, besides the desire to stimulate his mind for as long as he could before giving in.

When his fevers got high he was prone to nightmares. _Awful_ nightmares. Granted, he rarely remembered them after the fact, but he’d been reliably informed that they were terrifying to witness from an outsider’s point of view, especially as the fever rose. He thrashed and screamed and cried, and sometimes he woke up and was too delirius to realize the nightmare was over, that it was all in his head. The power of his rational mind was irrelevant; the haze of delirium could reduce the most logical of men to sobbing heaps.

One time as a child he screamed himself hoarse before his dad could get him to wake up; another time, when he was six months pregnant and spending more nights at Taiju's than at home, he almost lashed out at the big oaf when he had been trying to wake him from a bronchitis-induced fever nightmare. Poor Yuzuriha had only witnessed him in that state once, and she'd left his hospital room in tears when she thought he was distracted by his dad's overbearing comfort efforts. 

It was an unpredictability, an uncontrollableness, that Senkuu didn’t like subjecting himself and his caretakers to.

And yet it was a risk he knew he inevitably had to take. Staying up for more than another fifteen minutes- if he was being generous in his estimate- was impossible.

So he clumsily got settled in his bedding, laying his blanket out flat and pulling it up to his chest. The chilly air buffeted the bare skin of his shoulders.

“I’m prob'ly gonna have nightmares,” he drowsily warned Gen, who leaned over to blow out the candle. “Full-blown panic kind. Nothing's totally worked in the past to snap me out of 'em, so you’re in for a fun night.”

“Sounds about ight-ray,” Gen whispered with a dramatic sigh. “Don’t worry, I’ll save slapping you as a last resort.”

“Hey, you c'n try it. If it works I won’ even care.”

“Go to sleep, Senkuu-chan.”

Gen had moved to lean against the wall near him, tucking his hands into his sleeves and fixing him with a look.

Not needing to be told twice, Senkuu coughed, clearing some debris from his throat, and closed his eyes.

As he drifted off he kept Kyurii’s face in mind, hoping to fill his dreams with thoughts of her instead. He rolled onto his side, arms coming up to rest parallel to his chest, and if he immersed himself enough in the precious memory of that one night he got to have with his newborn, he could almost imagine he felt her tiny body, cradled against him, ever trusting and sweet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *casually adds way more mysteries to story after promising resolution* 
> 
> Yeah this is a totally different concept than before- but I think I was a bit rushed with the old chapters, and I wasn't happy with how the plot was progressing. I think this makes things more interesting and doesn't rush as much, but that might just be me. This is entirely experimental- if enough of you guys think the old version was better I can switch it back. I just want to provide the best, most interesting reading experience that I can for my lovely readers!
> 
> Yes, there are now more unanswered questions than ever before. Some will be answered later in this installment. Some will be answered in future oneshots I plan to write before the next installment of the main story, and so forth. Feel free to make your guesses about things left unclear!


	13. You need me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aliiiiive! So sorry for the hiatus! Ol' Reliable died on me and I had to track down a new laptop. Thank you very much for your support and patience!

“I think you should text him,” Taiju declared, propping his hands dramatically on the bed’s rail. Behind him, Yuzuriha nodded with determination. 

Senkuu rolled his eyes, looking away. “He can't text. Calls and emails are the only communication methods available.” 

“Then call him!” 

Kyurii finished nursing and he shrugged his gown back into place, holding her in his lap and patting her back until she burped. “He’s been up there less than a week- I’m not distracting him.” 

His old man was having the time of his life on the ISS; it had been obvious during their phone call a few days ago. Senkuu was privately relieved that all of their hard work and sacrifices were paying off, and that his dad was finally able to fulfill his dream- it was sappy, but it was the kind of sap that he could stomach because it was years in the making and if anyone deserved this, it was Byakuya. 

Senkuu wouldn’t make the phone call. 

He knew exactly what would happen. The call would connect. His dad would ask how things were going; would ask, because he was paranoid, if Senkuu had been staying at Taiju’s like they’d agreed. Senkuu would say yes, he had been, and Byakuya would go on to enthusiastically explain his most recent exploits. He was really fond of this Lillian woman, he wanted Senkuu to meet her. Senkuu would give the verbal equivalent of a shrug. Then he’d eventually work up the nerve: Hey, so, remember how I suddenly changed my mind and graduated early because I had a project I wanted to focus on? Well the project just entered stage two and you’re a grandpa now- congrats. 

His dad would freak out; he’d be mad at first, but Senkuu, even in his darkest imaginings, knew it wouldn’t last. He’d be disappointed, certainly. Deeply concerned for his son’s health. Fearful of what this could mean for Senkuu’s safety. But, despite all of that, excited to meet his granddaughter. 

All of that would drive him to say it: I’m coming home. Screw the once-in-a-lifetime space mission. You need me, son. 

He was an illogical, overprotective softie that would never stay away for another four months while knowing about Kyurii, and so it was best if he didn’t find out. 

Taiju looked conflicted; his first loyalty was to his best friend, but Byakuya was like his uncle as well, and the big oaf had never been a fan of lying, even by omission. 

“Doesn’t he deserve to know, though?” Yuzuriha asked quietly, looking sad. “We helped you hide this from him for months… he missed the opportunity to be there for you. And now he’s going to miss the first few months of her life…” 

And yes, that thought stung more than he’d like. His clinical side insisted that in all likelihood his daughter would live a decently long lifespan; missing a few months of it was nothing. His emotional side, smaller but just as loud, retorted that these were her _first_ months, though. Clinical argued that babies are the least interesting as newborns, that all they do is eat, sleep and poop. Emotional waved this off and reminded him that plenty of her development would occur in the next four months, and that, even if that weren’t true, it was an objective truth that his dad would still want to be there for them. 

In the end Senkuu had to shut down the debate before he lost it. It was illogical and childish, but he was fine with that. 

Taiju started to voice a new protest, so Senkuu offered to let him hold the baby again- that immediately served as a distraction and the subject was dropped. Both of them loved to steal her from him whenever they could. 

A few minutes later Nurse Aki came back, advising his friends that visiting hours were over and they could return in the morning. They were hesitant to leave, but he reassured them that he’d be waiting for them tomorrow. 

Kyurii, to his great displeasure, was placed in a cradle next to his bed. Aki didn’t want to risk him dropping or rolling onto his baby while he was sleeping, which he understood completely, but he wanted her near anyway. He'd be careful. As soon as Aki left he went through great pains to retrieve his daughter and situate her on his chest, which was her absolute favorite place to be. She cooed in her sleep and nuzzled closer, and he melted inside. 

The fading sunlight seemed to make her glow; she was beautiful already but there were some moments, like right now, when he would look at her little face and his breath would be stolen away. He couldn’t believe he created this tiny creature that was so completely perfect. He couldn’t believe the world had gone on for billions of years without her in it; everything seemed fundamentally different now. 

He wondered, vaguely, if his own mother had felt this way about his birth, had experienced these feelings about him. 

And then he smiled bittersweetly because he knew the answer with a painful kind of certainty. 

_How fitting- I swore I wouldn’t risk myself like you did and yet it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me._

The pregnancy had been full to the brim with worries- many of which had very logical bases in reality. His health was reliably poor; could his body even support a baby for nine months? He was on the smaller side of a typical carrier; if the pregnancy made it to term, would his risk of birth complications be higher? 

And, of course, the elephant in the room: only a very small percentage of carriers could carry their pregnancies to term to begin with. It was rare to find one with a body that could fully accommodate the life it created, and it often ended tragically. Even with his genetic advantage, the odds were stacked against him. 

At any point Senkuu could have lost her. He’d tried to be prepared for it, but all the same he refused to let the odds scare him out of creating a bond with his own offspring when there was still a possibility that she would, in fact, survive. Until the day he lost her, he wasn’t going to give up on her. 

The months were full of turmoil that he rarely let himself get caught up in, but that he felt just the same. He wasn’t an anxious person by nature, but this situation brought out an anxious side of him that he hoped would go straight back to hell after the baby was born. If it weren’t for Kyurii depending on him to take care of his health, he would’ve lost a lot of weight from being too stressed to eat. 

Yes, the past nine months had definitely been hellish and stressful and he was entirely glad that that chapter was now over, even if it nearly ended in his bloody demise. 

And yet, despite all of that, he didn’t regret a moment of it. His baby was entirely worth all of it and then some. She was something he hadn't even known he needed, something he'd once sworn he would never have; his mother had suffered so much for his sake and Senkuu, from a young age, had sworn off keeping that cycle going. 

Looking down at the sleeping face of a person Senkuu valued more than life itself, he realized the cycle wasn’t what he thought it was. 

Kyurii wasn’t the continuation of something old and evil; she was the beginning of something new and exhilarating. 

As long as he could protect her, she would never know the horrors. 

And of course he was going to protect her; he didn’t care what he had to do, what he had to create, to keep her safe. She was not going to grow up in fear. She was going to be happy and curious and confident, just like he got to be. 

This train of thought led him back to the issue he’d been avoiding, because without his dad Senkuu never would have gotten to enjoy his childhood. Byakuya had stepped up for him, providing for and nurturing him in all the ways his mom no longer could. He’d shown him that there was plenty that life had to offer. He’d shown Senkuu the stars, ignited his interest in science, fostered it into something great. 

And, because of him, Senkuu had felt safe when he’d been totally certain he never would again. 

Despite all of his convictions about not telling his dad yet, Senkuu desperately wanted to do so. Yuzu was right- he did deserve to know. His dad had been nothing but good to him, and now that this joy had come into his life Senkuu wanted nothing more than to share it. These two people- one in his arms, one 254 miles above Earth- were his family. 

_I can’t call him._

As much as he wanted to, Senkuu would not make the call. It was too final, too direct. He would be directly ending his dad’s dream with his own mistake and it wasn't something he could bring himself to do. 

_But an email…_

His dad was notorious for never checking his personal email; he hated sifting through the junk mail he could never figure out how to unsubscribe from, and all of his friends used text now anyway, so he had no reason to. Senkuu had given Byakuya his word that the only way he'd try to communicate with him during his term in space was via phone or video calls; his dad wouldn't think to check his inbox, at least not for a while. Every few months he tried to sort through all of it, loudly complaining the whole time, but that wasn't due for at least two more months. 

_Really, the risk isn’t nearly as great._

So, before he could think better of it, Senkuu grabbed his phone from the bedside table and opened the camera, fixing it on Kyurii's face. There was still just barely enough sunlight that he didn’t need to wait for a nurse to turn on the overheads. 

He paused, realizing he wanted her eyes to be visible; he gently caressed her back and crooned her name until they drifted open blearily and she grunted in displeasure, looking up in the direction of his face with her russet eyes. 

“Sorry, kiddo,” he murmured, snapping a picture and hoping his hand’s slight shaking wasn’t affecting the image. 

As she fell back asleep, he studied the picture and then attached it to a blank email, unsure of what to say. Sending a picture of a random baby- even a baby with strikingly familiar eyes- would just confuse his poor old man without context. 

He at least wanted him to know her name, so he started with that: “Ishigami Kyurii.” He then went on to add the day’s date and the time of her birth, then her weight and length. He included “Ten billion percent healthy”, then wondered if he should include himself in the update. 

The idea was brushed off; there was a reason he didn’t include himself in the picture. His paleness would freak his dad out unnecessarily. Since Jun’s untimely death Byakuya had always been hypervigilant about Senkuu’s health; he put on a brave face but sometimes, when Senkuu was in the hospital and barely able to breathe, it was impossible for his dad to hide how worried he would get that he'd lose someone else. Mention of the blood loss would send the man into a frenzy; it was best to save that reveal for when they were standing face-to-face and his dad could see with his own two eyes that Senkuu was fine. 

With the email complete, his thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button. 

_Chances are he won’t see it for a long time, if at all,_ he reminded himself, not sure what outcome he was actually hoping for. He pressed the button and the message was sent.

His nerves were eating at his stomach- or perhaps that unpleasant sensation just came with being hours postpartum- but he couldn’t deny the proverbial weight that had left his shoulders. Maybe his dad would see it before he came home, maybe he wouldn’t. It was out of his hands now. 

Kyurii grunted in her sleep and her little fist closed around the neckline of his gown. Again he was overcome with affection; with a watery smile he kissed her head, wrapped both arms loosely around her, and started planning out all the things he’d get to teach her as she grew.  
\--

By the time Taiju and Yuzuriha returned the next morning, he’d checked his email twice just to be sure, getting the same result- no reply from his dad. It laid more of his nerves to rest and he was in a better mood throughout the visit. He teased them for being truant from school and they ignored him while fussing over his daughter like the overbearing aunt and uncle they were. 

He said that last part aloud and both of his friends were moved to tears; apparently it hadn’t been nearly as obvious to them that those would be their titles. He rolled his eyes, told them to chill out, but his heart wasn’t in it. 

_You two are too sappily wholesome for your own good, you know that?_

Overbearing Nurse Sakura came back in to check his vitals and scold him for moving around too much. He was sitting up with one leg pulled to his chest, and while it certainly wasn’t exhilarating trying to get into this position, his back was incredibly sore and sitting this way helped. She shot him a glare as he reached out and took Kyurii back from Yuzuriha without asking for assistance. He shrugged innocently. 

She was just leaving, Senkuu sagging with slight relief, when the room suddenly glowed green. He whipped around to stare out the window. There was a great light in the distance, reaching across the sky and enveloping everything in a strange distorted haze- it was approaching them quickly and he knew that whatever it was, it wasn't good. 

Alarmed, he clutched Kyurii to his chest, trying to fold himself in such a way that his legs shielded her as well. He couldn’t break his eyes away from the light, brain running a thousand miles per hour as he tried to break down what he was seeing into something that made scientific sense. 

Taiju yelled and moved between them and the window, arms outstretched, protecting. Yuzuriha frantically climbed into bed beside Senkuu and tried her best to shield her niece with her body. 

The last thing Senkuu was capable of interpreting as he turned to stone was the sound of Kyurii crying. It stirred something desperate within him, and then everything went quiet and it was time to start counting.  
\--

_He was thoroughly upset but couldn't remember why- something deep inside was crying out but no matter how hard he listened, he couldn't tell what it was about. Through the haze he felt a dampness on his face, then heard the small noises escaping his own mouth, irritating his throat and making it hard to catch his breath. He had no control._

_Suddenly there was a warmth, and he grabbed hold and clung to it with all his might. It surrounded him, then it seeped into his brain and wrapped around his thoughts, and then there was nothing he could do but give in and float away._  
\--

Everything was dark and he wasn't sure where he was or how he got there. His heart felt like it'd been racing and was just now slowing down to a lazy tempo. 

Wherever this was, it was very warm. 

For a while he wallowed in the heat, unsure of what was going on around him but finding that he didn't really care. Peace was a nice change. 

Of course, said peace didn’t last very long before he was startled by the large hand that came out of nowhere to run over his head gently. He stretched and opened his eyes with a miserable whine. 

“Whoops!” a deep voice said, rumbling against his left ear. “Sorry, Senkuu. Go back to sleep!” 

His vision was blurry and he rubbed at his eyes with a fist. “Where…?” His throat was so sore. 

He was curled up in a ball, wrapped in a blanket covered in little planets and stars, surrounded by a soothing, familiar scent. The glare of LED was the only light source, the rest of the room shrouded in darkness, and if he strained his eyes he could make out what looked like a term paper on the laptop’s screen. A familiar hand was propped on the mousepad. 

_It’s so warm…_

Half of him wanted to pass out again. The other half took control and steered his gaze upward. 

“Dad…” 

Byakuya looked down at him and smiled. “Yeah, kiddo?” 

Senkuu was curled up in his lap, all of five years old, face resting against his father’s chest. It was a position he knew well- when he was still this small and sicklier than ever, his favorite place to be when he felt ill was in his dad’s arms. Byakuya quickly got used to doing everything with his arms full, always willing to carry little Senkuu around even if it got inconvenient. Senkuu had found this to be a novel concept, that anyone besides Mom could like to be so near to him, and he took full advantage of it, becoming a sniffly little koala child. 

Senkuu stared up into those kind eyes, exactly as he remembered them, and for a second he couldn’t think of a reply. There was plenty he wanted to say, but nothing seemed right for this moment. 

I miss you. Thank you for everything you’ve done. I’m sorry. 

But why complicate it? 

His tiny hand grabbed hold of Byakuya’s shirt and he closed his eyes, wiggling closer and making himself comfortable. Byakuya adjusted his one-armed hold to accommodate him. 

“Don’t go anywhere, ‘kay?” 

His dad made a confused sound and then Senkuu was squeezed in a hug, his dad’s stubbly cheek pressed against his head. “You know I’m not, Senkuu. I’m always right here. Always.” 

Senkuu wondered why he wasn't feeling any sadness. Instead he was overcome with peace and nostalgia; this was the safest place he’d ever known, the most comforting, and he felt nothing but warmth. 

He nodded minutely, leaning into the touch. “I know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had to be broken up, so next update shouldn't be too far off.
> 
> Until next time! Take care of yourselves, wash your hands often, and most importantly: keep calm and carry on! ~Every little thing is gonna be alright~


	14. Gotta be a good sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YIKES, long wait and short chapter. I underestimated how much of my free time would be slurped up by my now-online college classes... But I'm still here! Hammering away at my stories whenever I get the chance :)

Chrome rose with the sun as he always did, feeling far from well-rested but able to function, at least. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, clearing the bleariness away, then adjusted his headband, which had risen up and was nearly falling off the back of his head.

Kohaku was seated as well, in the process of retying her hair. She nodded a greeting to him, then finished her ponytail and turned her head side to side for him to examine. “Any shark fins?”

He examined accordingly. “Nope.”

She then rose to her feet and looked across the room, letting out a sigh of disappointment. Concerned, Chrome stood as well, turning to see what had her so bummed.

“What’s wrong?”

Senkuu and Gen were sprawled on the ground from what he could tell, probably still sleeping. Nothing seemed off.

She didn’t reply, making her way closer to the pair, Chrome hot on her heels.

When they reached their friends, though, his ears picked up on the disheartening sound.

Gasping breaths.

“Aw dammit,” he mumbled, crouching down by Senkuu. “It came back.”

He could already see another kidnapping plot forming in Kohaku’s head; she knelt beside Gen, poking at the sleeping mentalist’s nose through his mask.

“Rise and shine, cuddlebug.”

Misty eyes slowly drifted open, looking muddled. Gen’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Kohaku-chan?” he asked, voice thin.

“Yup. You fell asleep. It’s morning.”

“Already?”

Kohaku rolled her eyes. “Would I lie about that? I’d tell you to get up and look for yourself, but it seems you’re anchored.”

Gen looked further befuddled, all-knowing facade not catching up to his waking brain yet.

Senkuu, still unconscious but seeming to react to their voices, chose that moment to tighten his hold around Gen’s middle, audibly forcing the air from the mentalist’s lungs.

“Oh,” Gen grunted as he regained his breath, aiming for cheerfulness but not quite able to pull it off, “that’s ight-ray. Senkuu-chan gets a bit… _clingy_ when he has nightmares.”

“He had nightmares?” Kohaku asked, confused.

“Nothing evere-say. I calmed him down in time.”

From the way Senkuu had been hyping it up the night before, Chrome had been expecting to get woken up a lot by screaming; but apparently even _Kohaku_ had slept soundly through the night.

Although, in all honesty, Chrome wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t dreamed up that entire eavesdropped conversation- there were strange terms they’d used that he couldn’t possibly have imagined up, but at the same time what he was looking at now didn’t support what he’d overheard last night.

Senkuu had admitted to being Kyurii’s mother. He’d been the one to carry her and the one to give birth to her. That had been shocking in and of itself, not only because Chrome hadn’t known Senkuu was physically capable of it, but because he was a strong candidate for the least maternal person Chrome had ever met; Senkuu had always kinda reminded him of a crazy uncle- kind of a bastard, not very doting but always glad to have partners in crime and people to educate, no matter their age.

Chrome had spent a while mulling it over before finally going to sleep, and eventually he’d been able to make sense of the information in his own way. If he really did some mental gymnastics he could reconcile those two concepts of Senkuu into one person.

But now he was thrown off because he’d assumed this meant that Senkuu was female, that he’d been hiding it for some secret reason.

And then he’d realized that Senkuu was now shirtless, and when he got closer he’d realized that Senkuu’s chest was as flat as his own.

_Females have breasts to nurse their young…_

_Do some not have them?_

He was confused; was this what being a “carrier” meant? What exactly did it mean? What criteria did one have to meet? Was his friend actually male after all? He’d mentioned that carriers were extremely rare- some kind of mutation? Was the old folk tale based on truth after all?

“Has the fever gone down any?” Kohaku asked, breaking Chrome from his thoughts.

Gen was lying on his back, staring with half-lidded eyes at the ceiling, arms splayed out to each side as though he’d been tackled to the ground and then fell asleep like that; considering Senkuu was clinging to him, head resting on his obi and arm wrapped around his waist, that scenario wasn’t all that unlikely. A slender hand jerked up from the ground and gracelessly plopped onto Senkuu’s forehead with a quiet _thwap._

“Oww,” Senkuu groaned, shrinking away from the touch without opening his eyes.

Gen’s hand followed him and stayed put, and when he spoke his voice was laced with relief and muted excitement. “It went down.”

“Fucking _finally!”_

Senkuu recoiled from the sound. He covered his ear and curled into a ball, then his raspy breaths evened out again.

Gen rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through Senkuu’s hair a few times. He seemed exhausted still, as well as uncomfortable; there was nothing acting as a cushion between him and the wooden planks and when he moved he seemed to grimace a little.

Feeling more nicey-nice than usual, Chrome extracted a discarded pillow from under Senkuu’s knee and placed it under the mentalist’s head.

“Thank you, Chrome-chan,” Gen mumbled, already falling back asleep. Chrome wasn’t sure if it was just the dim lighting, but it seemed like the circles under his eyes just got more and more pronounced each time he saw them- making him wonder if Senkuu was waking him up with his nightmares often. Then again, in times of trouble it always seemed like sleep was only worth half as much; a full night’s rest could still leave you tired and listless throughout the day, while intermittent sleep was like getting none at all.

Looking at Gen’s wan face now was almost pitiful.

 _One person gets better and another gets worse… what luck._  
\--

“Do you think things will be back to normal soon?” Kohaku asked conversationally, pulling her legs to her chest. Her mask hung around her neck and the gentle winter breeze pulled at her bangs, making them levitate.

Chrome leaned back against the outside wall of the hut with a shrug. “They’d better. We have so much work to do and we’re running out of time.”

“He’d _have_ to have factored in some sick days, right?”

“I… guess?”

“Senkuu said he gets sick easily, so wouldn’t it be dumb not to set aside time for it just in case?”

“That’s true,” he conceded. “Still, I can’t move forward anymore on my own but I don’t want to completely stop my progress. If he could just hurry up and get better… Or if he could at least sit in the lab and tell me what to do…”

She frowned. “He was able to go to the springs yesterday; what’s wrong with sitting in the lab for a few hours?”

“Yeah, he went to the springs- and then his fever spiked immediately after,” he argued sternly. “His body’s just too weak for being out and about right now. And I know you want to drag him back out there, by the way, and it’s not happening. The steam’s a good idea, but we’ll have to settle for you bringing some to him; if he got even worse than this it’d be _bad,_ and _not_ in the good way."

Instead of getting angry, Kohaku sighed and looked up at the clear skies above, basking in the sunlight. “He’d get to be like Ruri-nee was,” she guessed.

Chrome didn’t know all that much about biology yet, but that kind of deterioration wasn’t hard to map. Soberly he mumbled, “Yeah.”

He watched as she closed her eyes and let out another breath through her nose. Maybe it was his years of staring at her sister’s face or maybe they’d just become a lot closer than he’d realized, but despite there being no obvious indicators he could tell that she was really sad. And then he felt bad because he really hadn’t meant to be so harsh. She was no delicate flower, but he still shouldn’t have been a dick- looking back, it sounded like he blamed her for everything that had happened after the hot springs.

He nudged her with his elbow and smiled. “Hey, I’m just glad you found a solution to the breathing thing; it seemed like he was constantly getting worse and I was kinda scared he’d suffocate.”

“It sounded pretty bad,” she agreed. “At least it didn’t come back today as bad as it used to be. That’s gotta be a good sign, right?”

“That and the fever dropping, yeah- definitely.”

Her lips twitched upward and he knew she understood what was left unsaid. 

More than ready to move on, he then brought up a new topic that had been bothering him for hours. “Hey, do you remember that one Tale about the moon?”

Surprised, she replied, “You mean the moon spirit?”

“Yeah, that one!”

She shrugged. “Kind of… it’s been a few years since I’ve heard it, though. Why?”

“It’s just… what Senkuu was saying last night, about what he is… it reminded me of it, and then I realized maybe that was by design.” Her eyes widened and he continued, “I mean it would make sense, right? His dad _is_ the one who came up with them. I just wish I could remember all of it. When this is all over, could you ask Ruri to tell it again?”

“Yes,” she promised with a determined nod of her head, eyes alight with the prospect of the bigger picture coming together. 

Both of them became lost in thought and they sat in silence for a while, admiring the beautiful- if painfully cold- weather. The Kingdom of Science was buzzing with life far below them, people going on with their tasks as best as they could without clear guidance- a few noticed them sitting on the balcony and waved up at them, seeming heartened to get cheery waves in response.

It was inevitable that Suika eventually noticed them; she sprinted over and begged, “Can I please come up and visit yet?”

He could almost be annoyed at how she hounded him about this every day, except this was _Suika._ It was impossible to be annoyed by her; she was so sincere and dedicated and worried. Instead he just felt bad that he couldn’t acquiesce.

“Not yet,” he replied regretfully. “He’s getting better, though, so that’s good!”

The little girl wrung her fingers anxiously. “Well yeah, and I’m really glad! But…” In the epitome of pitiful dejectedness, she looked down and dug the toes of one foot into the dirt, hunching her shoulders. “... I really miss you guys. It’s lonely without all of you.”

He and Kohaku shared a look, hearts breaking.

“We can’t put you at risk of getting sick, Suika.”

“... I know…”

“Seriously, we all wish you could join us,” Kohaku insisted guiltily, “it’s just we could never forgive ourselves if you got this too.”

Suika sighed, turning slowly and walking away. After a few steps, however, she stopped and turned back around. “Is there anything I can do to help you guys? I-I could bring you stuff if you need it!”

The poor kid was so desperate to be involved.

“ _Actually,”_ Chrome said, “could you track us down some food? Our previous gatherer went and got herself quarantined.”

The giant smile on Suika’s face was well worth the punch to the arm from Kohaku.

“Of course! I’ll be right back!”

She took off so fast that he blinked and she was already at the edge of the clearing, Chalk bouncing along beside her. The spring in her step was almost therapeutic to see- that much joy was infectious. 

A smile crawled its way onto his face.

“You know,” Kohaku suddenly said, tapping her fist in the palm of her other hand, “That gives me an idea! I’ll need your help.” She got to the ladder and started to descend, but when he didn’t immediately follow she glared and took on her combined ‘leader’ and ‘I’m going to kill you if you disobey’ voice. “Move it!”

Even with Senkuu's orders on hold, Chrome knew he was still going to be worked to death.

_Lovely._

With a groan he lurched to his feet, smile dead and gone. “Yes, Ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as always, for your patience! Our favorite Wonder Twins have returned to the spotlight~


	15. Without saying a word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! And I bring thee, FINALLY, some happiness :D

He wasn’t sure what exactly had him peeling his eyes open, as the room was dead silent and fairly dark, but all the same he couldn’t avoid consciousness any longer. Blinking away the haze, he lifted his head and tried to gather his bearings- only to realize he was sprawled, half naked, on top of a familiar person.

Senkuu remembered most of the night prior, but all the same this was _not_ what he was expecting to wake up to. Why was he clinging to the mentalist? Had he grabbed him in his sleep? Was Gen aware?

Chalking up the hot feeling in his face to be from his fever, Senkuu slowly sat up, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. It felt like his temperature had lowered by at least two degrees, but it was hard to tell- although the room definitely wasn’t as frigid as it had seemed last night, which he took to be a good sign.

He glanced around, taking in the general mess that covered the floor- pillows, blankets, a few dirty bowls, a basin of water… Everything was in some state of disarray. Hell, there was even a random cup sitting on the telescope.

As he examined his surroundings he made the most important discovery of all: his thoughts, for the first time in much too long, were crystal clear. The constant fog that had permeated his brain had dissipated in the night, allowing him to think in his usual wild tangents and be able to keep up with himself. Overjoyed, he started coming up with increasingly complicated equations to solve, just to make sure, and after the answer would quickly come to mind he would write out his invisible work with his finger on the floor, solving them the old-fashioned way to make sure his answers were correct. Each time he tested this, the results would match.

Being able not only to think clearly again, but to trust his thoughts as rational and cognizant, was the most freeing feeling he knew.

Very few times in his life had he gotten so sick that he became incoherent, but when that did happen, this milestone was an especially important one in judging how far he had until he’d made a full recovery- what he needed now was to know if his fever had broken.

Turning back to his friend, Senkuu cleared his throat. “Oi, Mentalist,” he said hoarsely, “check my temperature.”

Gen certainly looked like he needed his sleep, but since they were alone and Senkuu needed to know this, he’d have to wake him. He could always go back to sleep after.

No response.

“Mentalist.”

Gen didn’t so much as stir, making an unpleasant wariness twist Senkuu’s gut.

Senkuu leaned over, ignoring how dizzy this made him, and said, right in his ear, “ _Asagiri Gen.”_

Gen’s eyes shot open and he jerked away just slightly, shooting Senkuu a glare when he realized what was going on. “Ugh, _yes?”_

A relieved grin made its way across Senkuu’s face. “If you want to die at least wait until I’m in the clear so you don’t steal my thunder, ‘kay?”

Gen groaned and rolled onto his side, clearly done with being awake already. “Duly noted,” he groused, making the scientist raise a brow.

“You okay?”

“Absolutely erfect-pay.”

“Hey, not my fault you sleep like the dead.”

“I don’t _usually.”_

_That bad, huh?_

It was a rare sight indeed to see Gen lastingly irritable; he usually got over it almost immediately. Senkuu got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach that he knew the cause.

“My nightmares were awful,” he guessed, cursing internally, “and I kept you up.”

To his surprise, Gen sighed before shaking his head minutely, white hair falling sideways over his eyes. He made no move to fix it, made no movements at all, really.

For reasons Senkuu couldn’t explain, he broke protocol and sneakily fixed it as Gen spoke.

“You’ve been having nightmares almost every time you fall asleep, Senkuu-chan.”

_Shit._

“Ah, whoops,” Senkuu replied, rubbing at his neck. “I should’ve warned you sooner.”

A single slate-blue eye peeled open to fix him with a _look._ “That was _not_ what I was going for, Senkuu-chan. You didn’t let me finish.”

“You stopped speaking.”

“With the intention to continue!”

“With finality, actually.”

The eye rolled with great vigor, then fell closed. “Well I’m incredibly ired-tay, so pardon my mistake. What I was _going_ to say is that you’ve been having bad dreams all the time and it’s never gotten out of hand like you said it would- the worst that ends up happening is you cry a bit and sometimes get mildly confused. I mean, you did freak out on us last night- IDK if you remember any of that-” _as if I could forget,_ “-but you were awake, so I don’t count it.”

Senkuu frowned, pulling his knees to his chest and leaning on them while ignoring the constant ache running down his spine. _The nightmares never escalated? They_ always _escalate. This is at least the third worst sickness I’ve ever had and even in much milder cases I’ve tended to get unmanageable… Something is different this time. What is it?_

There was really only one thing that could explain it.

“What did you do, Mentalist?”

There was an audible smirk in Gen’s voice. “A mentalist never reveals his secrets.”

_You fucking suck, you know that?_

Senkuu knew that tone- Gen was holding onto the information, tucking it away for later use. He could harass the mentalist until he was blue in the face and Gen still wouldn’t give it up, the stubborn opportunist that he was. Most likely it would be used later on for some nefarious purpose- perhaps even as a bargaining chip, although what the mentalist could want in return besides more cola eluded him.

He frowned, crossing his arms. “Whatever.” _You_ will _tell me eventually._ “I woke you up so you could check my temperature- then I’ll leave you alone.”

Gen lifted a hand blindly, saying around a yawn, “You come to me, then.”

Seeing yet another reminder of how tired his friend was sent another hidden pang of guilt through the scientist. Senkuu leaned forward and pressed his forehead against that outstretched hand, having sudden flashbacks to that dragon movie Taiju had forced him to watch.

_God, if the big oaf were here to see me like this…_

Gen’s palm was cold, as he’d expected, but pleasant to the touch all the same with his soft skin. It was contact Senkuu honestly didn’t mind.

“It’s gone down a bit more,” Gen said quietly, relief making his shoulder sag. “I checked at sunrise. I think it's almost gone.”

 _That was less than an hour ago,_ Senkuu realized as he peered at the light streaming in through the small crack in the roof. Thanking all the deities he didn’t believe in, Senkuu leaned back and made quick work of pulling his tunic back into place, ignoring the way Gen’s eye opened for a few seconds to get a final glimpse of his tattoo, curiosity burning in its depths. _That_ was a talk for later.

“Go back to sleep,” he instructed unnecessarily, coughing briefly into his elbow. It didn’t explode into a fit like before, although it did virtually nothing to clear his lungs or make breathing easier.

Being wide awake and in control of his brain had many perks, including that he finally felt capable enough to try getting up and moving around again; the combination of flu ache and lying on the floor without moving much had left him sore, not to mention it was torture for him to stay still for too long without something to focus on. He needed to be _doing_ something!

His first attempt at standing didn’t go so well, his head spinning and his knees buckling, and then the second attempt was a swift failure as well, his balance gone to hell. If concern alone didn’t have Gen watching him like a hawk, he was sure the constant _creak-thud-creak_ of his movements was annoying the mentalist into wakefulness at the very least.

_Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon._

Third time turned out to be the charm; he knelt, then dragged himself upward to both feet, only wavering a little before his balance evened out. He was panting and had worked up a sweat, two facts he chose to ignore lest they depress him- this was good progress! He slid one foot carefully forward, then repeated with the other foot, and soon he was walking slow circuits around the room without any falls or dizziness. As he walked he moved his arms in a massive stretch.

“Baby’s first steps- I’m proud of you, Senkuu-chan.”

Senkuu coughed again. “I’m touched.”

Leaning down to snag his coat was unpleasant in every sense of the word. He pulled it on and raised the hood over his head, then wrapped the blanket around himself, cursing at how the extra weight had made his legs start to shake. He had limited time to get where he needed to go and he was fully aware of it. “I’m gonna sit just outside for a bit- it’s getting a bit stuffy in here.”

To his credit, Gen didn’t outwardly react. “Are you sure your lungs can handle that so soon?”

Senkuu flapped a corner of the blanket at him, explaining, “That’s what this is for. I’ll come back in if it becomes a problem.”

It wasn’t a total lie- he would, indeed, return if push came to shove. But he had high standards for what defined a ‘shove’; he was going to stay outside for as long as possible. He needed a break from that room, from that bed, from being dependent on someone else… from the evidence of what taking care of him had done to his friend.

There was a stifling pause.

“Don’t talk to strangers,” Gen finally mumbled, interrupted by a rapturous yawn. “Knock really loudly on the wall if you start dying again.”

There was genuine concern buried under the nonchalance, belied by the way the mentalist was fighting off unconsciousness, watching him carefully from where he was gracefully draped upon the floor. Of course Gen would be concerned- and after everything he’d had to see the past few days, he definitely had a right to be. But Senkuu was pleasantly surprised that Gen didn’t go full mother hen on him as Byakuya had tended to, didn’t protest him being up and about so soon. He was trusting Senkuu not to make himself worse.

It was the little things...

A smirk crept onto Senkuu’s face and he gave a casual salute. “Will do. Sleep well.” _You definitely deserve it._

He tried to be as quiet as possible, went to extraordinary lengths to make sure his steps were slow and silent as he made his way to the door... only to flinch back violently, heart racing, when he opened it and was immediately met with a startled squeak.

“Suika?”

“I’m sorry!” the girl exclaimed, sliding down the ladder and backing away.

Getting his breathing back under control, Senkuu climbed out and gently shut the door, then shakily descended the ladder and stood with his hands on his hips, hoping she didn’t notice the tremor in his limbs or how he’d almost fallen halfway down.

Suika ran to the opposite end of the platform, shaking nervously.

“I’m sorry, I-I know I’m not s’posed to go up there b-but I got you guys some food and Chrome and Kohaku aren’t here so I was just gonna leave it inside the door-”

She seemed close to hyperventilating, going on and on while standing with her shoulders bowed defensively.

Senkuu waved his hands around to cut her off.

“Hey, hey, Suika, it’s okay! No big deal.” Damn, his voice was so much quieter than usual.

“I didn’t wanna risk it but-”

He wished he could get closer to her so he could put his hands on her shoulders, but as it was he had to settle for crouching down and holding his hands up placatingly. “It’s okay, kiddo. It’s not ideal but you were smart enough to wear a mask, so it’s okay.”

Her hands drifted up to the piece of cloth- which he suspected was torn from some unfortunate person’s spare clothing- that covered what little of her face wasn’t hidden under the watermelon rind. “I saw everyone else wearing them…”

“And you made your own- very clever.”

Her posture relaxed as she finally realized she wasn’t in trouble, and she reached into the pouch she’d tied around her waist, producing two capped jars. The scent of broth met his nose. “They didn’t tell me how much to get, so I grabbed these. Alumi said she can make more if you guys need it.”

“Perfect- you can set them down right there,” he pointed to a spot between them, about six feet away, “and I’ll take them in later.”

Suika did as told, but he could feel her questioning look as she did so. In the meantime he made himself comfortable, sitting against the wall and readjusting his blanket to help guard against the chill, holding one corner just in front of his mouth and nose. The cold air tried to creep down his trachea and he felt the stirrings of a cough coming on, which he stifled in the crook of his arm before bringing the blanket even closer to his face; finally he was able to breathe.

Her task complete, Suika was standing there unsurely.

“Are you staying out here?”

“For a little while- I need some fresh air. Not to mention it’s pretty boring in there.”

She fidgeted awkwardly with her hands, shifted her feet. “... Does that mean you’re okay?”

He sent her a thumbs up. “Ten billion percent,” he declared triumphantly. “Or, well, I will be, anyway. I’m getting there.”

There was a short pause in which they studied each other, then she slowly lowered herself to the floor, tucking her knees under her coat. With her mouth covered the only semblance of a face left on that little head was the pair of giant glass lenses serving as eyes, staring unblinkingly at him, giving nothing away.

He noticed she was still agitated, fingers fidgeting and posture always shifting.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, concerned.

Suika jumped the tiniest bit at the sudden question, hands clamping onto each other guiltily. “I just…” she shifted restlessly. “I _really_ wanna give you a hug, but I know I’m not s’posed to.”

Senkuu blinked, not at all thinking that was where this was going, and once it fully sank in he chuckled fondly and closed his eyes, tipping his head back to rest against the wall. _Ah, kid, you’re just too much sometimes._

“How’s this? I owe you one hug once I’m not contagious anymore. Sound good?”

It wasn’t really his thing, but Suika was of the elite in his PDA hierarchy- hell, if she wanted _ten billion_ hugs, who was he to deny her? He wasn’t a monster.

Her voice was much more enthusiastic when she replied, “Yeah! When will that be?”

“Well, it’s been four days since I started showing symptoms, meaning I’ve already been contagious for at least that long, possibly a day or two longer. Typically the flu can be spread for up to seven days, although in some cases that window extends further, which I wouldn’t be confident in discounting this time. So if we were going by the typical case I would say three more days, but to be safe I’m thinking it’ll be more like five or six.”

“Oh,” she said, audibly deflating. There was a shuffling sound as he assumed she scooted back to copy his pose, sitting against the wall. “That’s a long time.”

He nodded, sympathizing with her frustration; now that he was cognizant again, he had the feeling quarantine would quickly grow old. He’d have to get back to work as soon as possible to avoid falling behind, and science always tended to make him lose track of time, but until that got underway he’d have to settle for trying very hard not to go insane. A few days could feel like a lifetime when you were waiting for something.

Before he could say anything, she continued in a quiet voice, “I was really scared for you. You looked really bad that day... and then I didn’t see you for _days_ after. Everyone kept saying you’d be okay, but they were so tense and since I couldn’t see you it felt like a lie. I thought you might be dying.”

_I very well could’ve been…_

Had it not been for everyone’s quick thinking and attentiveness, things could’ve gone south incredibly fast.

Still, that was nothing to worry a child over- he was all for being honest with her, because for the most part she was just as capable of taking the truth as the rest of them, but in a situation like this it served no logical purpose. He was on the mend. She didn’t _need_ to know.

The words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat, making it harder to breathe and harder to articulate. He could launch into a whole lecture on virology and epidemiology, on the importance of quarantine and distancing, but on that same line of thought was the knowledge that it wasn’t what she was looking for. In this moment her insatiable curiosity had taken a backseat.

Normally that didn’t stop him from launching into Professor Mode, but this time was different. There was a lot of hidden emotion hanging in the air, thick as fog and equally obfuscating.

He kept his voice even and let some sympathy shine through. “That must’ve been scary. It can definitely be hard to trust in what people say without seeing proof, especially about something like this.”

She made a miserable sound and something in his chest tightened. “I know it’s risky to be around you cuz I could get sick, but why did everyone push me away so much? I just wanted to see you, just for a second! I couldn’t get sick _that_ fast, right?”

“Unfortunately it’s not a risk anyone wants to take with you, kiddo,” he explained. “The only reason you can sit here with me right now is because you’re taking precautions- wearing that mask, sitting far away… and even so, being outside is the biggest factor here: we’re not in an enclosed space. Trust me, you _don’t_ want this bug. You’re young and could get sick very easily, and depending on your immune system, it could wreak havoc on you. None of us want that.”

She still seemed put out, even as she nodded her understanding. He found himself using a phrase that he hated but that seemed most appropriate objectively: “We kept you away because we care about you.”

 _Because we care about you._ The most manipulative thing a person could say.

_Even if it’s true._

He watched from his periphery as she huffed and propped her chin on her hands, staring out at the settlement.

“You sound like my dad. He said that a lot.”

It was the first time she’d ever implied that her parents existed, let alone directly mentioned them. He’d wondered what her family situation was since she seemed pretty free-roaming, but Kohaku had advised him not to ask the girl about it- even without his friend filling in the rest of the blanks he’d been able to conclude either tragic death or abandonment were the likeliest explanations.

“Is that a good thing?” he asked carefully. _Or was your father like mine?_

She sent him a confused look, storm clouds breaking just a little. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

In a way he was relieved for her sake.

 _You have no idea,_ he wanted to say, but refrained. Instead he waved it off and they sat in contemplative silence.

Voices sprang to mind, snippets of the past now thousands of years old.

A gruff voice, deep and intimidating in a way he was glad he didn’t inherit: _“Don’t you start crying, Jun- I did it because I care.”_

_“Dear, I know you care, but_ please _tell me you didn’t-”_

_“Shut your damn mouth. You don’t get to question the things I do when this is all your fault in the first place.”_

Years later, a younger voice. Takeshi, fresh from his desperate search for _anything_ that might change Senkuu’s mind: _“I’ve looked into it and apparently pregnancy increases the carrier mortality rate by almost two percent- that’s pretty serious stuff, Sen, all for an embryo that you’re likely to lose anyw- no, wait, don’t hang up! Please reconsider this. It’s not worth it. I know we don’t know each other all that well but I’m saying this solely because I care about you.”_

He shook his head with a longsuffering sigh, banishing the memories back to the _Things That Still Make Me Salty_ box. Suika did _not_ need to hear him weakly ramble about manipulative people at eight in the morning- especially not with the funk she was in.

Speaking of, he needed to do something to dispel that. He’d never realized how much he enjoyed her upbeat attitude until now, seeing her so mopey and depressed. It was unnatural and wrong to its very core.

“Hey.”

She perked up, turning to him expectantly, and he continued, “Can you do me a favor?”

He hadn’t even finished the question before she was on her feet, fists clenched with determination. “You bet! What do you need?”

The affection that bubbled up inside him was beyond measure, but he tamped down on it to say conspiratorially, “It’s a matter of utmost importance: I need you to gather up a bunch of snow and bring it up here.”

Suika was a little speed demon when she wanted to be; she was climbing back up the ladder, a sizeable clump of snow cradled in her cloak, within minutes. At his direction she dumped it on the wooden planks between them, then crouched down beside the tiny snowbank and ran her fingers through it playfully.

“Whatcha need this for?” she asked, even though it was clear she had a suspicion.

Senkuu grabbed a handful of snow and packed it into a ball. He sent her a mischievous grin. “How good is your aim?”

And he couldn’t see her expression, but the delighted sound she made was more than enough.  
\--

He did fantastically at climbing the ladder, but upon reaching the entrance to the observatory he all but fell through, landing in a coughing heap, and Gen had to help him back to his feet while barely holding back giggles. Then the mentalist refused to leave his side until he reached his bedding and collapsed dramatically into it.

“Man, you shoulda seen it- Suika’s new name is officially The Holy Terror. She brought absolute _chaos_ raining down on those peasants!”

Gen laughed, eyes alight and alert- being allowed an extra hour to nap had worked wonders, although the bags under his eyes were still vivid. He sat down at his bedside, tucking his hands in his sleeves. “What did you expect? It’s always the sweet ones.”

“True,” Senkuu conceded, sinking into the depths of the pillow pile even more. He’d thrown a few snowballs before he’d run out of energy and now his muscles were screaming at him for that grave error. “But who knew she had the marksmanship of a snowball sniper?”

“Aybe-may those glasses you made her are just that good.”

“Nah- they helped, I’m sure, but that was totally raw talent.” His lips quirked upwards just a little, spirits higher than they’d been in a while. “She was so happy.”

Gen, of course, could read him like an open book, could see this change in demeanor. He smiled and Senkuu knew it was a very affectionate one, judging by the look he was giving him. “I’m glad you had fun.”

Absolutely _no_ color rushed to Senkuu’s cheeks at that look, so full of care, so open and honest and full of things left unsaid, things he’d been silently saying for months, things Senkuu had either quietly taken into account or had pretended not to catch. Here Gen was once more, spilling his soul without saying a word, and once more Senkuu wasn’t sure how to respond- except this time he found himself more… receptive than before. Normally his first impulse was to bring things back down to earth, back to normalcy- this time it… wasn’t.

For some reason the only thing he could think of was how tired Gen looked. How many waking hours he must have spent at Senkuu’s side, doing whatever he could to keep him comfortable and well. Senkuu didn’t remember all that much of the last few days, but any passing moments of consciousness he happened to recall all had one thing in common: Gen was never far away.

It was a great many things- humbling, exhilarating, terrifying- to realize how deeply someone else cared for you.

He was glad Gen had never said it aloud; too many people used “caring” as an excuse to get what they wanted. But by letting his actions speak for him, Gen had made it perfectly clear that he was genuine. That what he wanted from Senkuu was for Senkuu to care too.

They maintained eye contact for many beats too long, something significant swelling in the air around them.

And then Senkuu quite abruptly had to cough up a lung.

Still, as he was hunched over, throat on fire and eyes brimming with pained tears, struggling to get a breath in, he felt the comforting weight of Gen’s hand on his back, rubbing small circles, and found an absurd contentedness in it.

Whatever that moment had been, it wasn’t the same by the time he was able to take a full breath and mutter a choked, “Thanks.” Before, he’d had the rising urge to say something, although he wasn’t sure exactly what it would have been. But he knew with certainty he couldn’t say it now- the atmosphere had changed and he didn’t have the proper feel for it anymore. The words, whatever they were, were too important to mess up.

Gen seemed to sense this too, because when their eyes met again he was just as fond, but everything he’d put on display had been carefully collected and returned to its hiding place. Senkuu felt a strange kind of frustration, the frustration of having missed an opportunity.

 _How troublesome. I still_ want _to say something._

But he had no idea what to say, let alone _how_ to say it. He’d never been in this situation before, had no prior data to work off of.

So he decided on a different approach, figuring nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Once his breathing had calmed down and he was no longer on the verge of another violent fit, he let out a very fake yawn and stretched his arms high over his head. “One thing that sucks about being sick- being tired when you’re not tired,” he lamented, scrubbing at his face and pushing his pesky hair out of his eyes. He scooted closer to the mentalist until they were side by side and then, without giving himself time to back out, leaned over to rest his head on Gen’s shoulder. “I don’t feel like sleeping for a while- you mind?”

He looked up at Gen through his eyelashes, using the mentalist’s own technique against him.

Gen was studying him, probably seeing how flushed his face had gotten, probably wondering if his fever had grown worse and taken hold of his brain again. There was no emotion in those blue eyes- a clinical sort of detachment had taken root, making Senkuu wonder if maybe he’d gone about this the wrong way. He knew a lot, but wasn’t all-knowing- and in these matters he knew the least.

Still, he stood his ground; maybe he needed to be a bit clearer. He let a smirk pull at his lips.

Gen was silent for a few seconds more, searching Senkuu’s expression for something, looking just a little bit desperate. Whatever he found seemed to hit home, though, because suddenly his eyes widened and a fiery red promptly crept up from under his mask.

“O-oh,” he murmured, then broke eye contact and stared down at the ground, looking every bit like he was screaming internally.

_Holy shit._

It was everything Senkuu had hoped for and more than he knew he needed. His own embarrassment was quickly forgotten as he reveled in the sight of a furiously blushing Asagiri Gen. He’d done it!

He wasn’t prepared, though, for the arm that suddenly came up around him, pinning him in place.

“Of course I don’t mind, Senkuu-chan,” Gen said, not quite able to pull it off smoothly. He met Senkuu’s eyes again and his face was still aflame, but combined with the happiness it was a good look on him, Senkuu decided.

With a smile the scientist resituated his head to properly rest on Gen’s shoulder, closing his eyes; he wasn’t sleepy, but doing so allowed him to calm himself down and actually enjoy the moment. Gen was warm and just the right height to act as a pillow, and even through all his layers Senkuu could feel that hand firmly planted on his waist.

Despite this being a significant event, afterwards Senkuu wouldn’t remember what they had talked about as their conversation carried for almost two hours; they talked and talked about anything and everything, and yet that was the least important part of their time together. The conversation was more of a pastime. What stood out to him were the little things- the sound of Gen’s voice so close to his ear, the way he gently rested his cheek on top of Senkuu’s head, how content the mentalist was…

It was simultaneously soothing and _exhilarating._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... I mean, there's some angst sprinkled in your Happiness Soup, but for the most part I aimed for fluff :)
> 
> Writing Senkuu's POV on romantic stuff was a lot of work, lemme tell ya! The boi refuses to be characterized and work with me.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you next chapter! School is *almost* over and I can't waiiiit!


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